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Wellness > Sex + Relationships

The Key to a Successful Relationship: Understanding the Five Love Languages

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at McMaster chapter.

In today’s world, break ups are more common than ever, and relationships have become so hard to maintain. Dating apps and social media have made it difficult to find deep and meaningful connections, especially in the time of COVID-19. But the key to making a relationship work is communication. Understanding your partner’s needs and what makes them feel loved is essential in any relationship, however this isn’t always communicated clearly. Understanding the five love languages is vital in eliminating the communication barrier.  

There are many ways to find out what your love language is, the main method being online. These quizzes tell you what your language says about you and what you need in a relationship. You may have one predominant love language, or you a mix of all of them. Here’s a break-down of the five love languages so that you can better understand where you fit in and what you need from your partner to facilitate better communication! 

 

Words of Affirmation

People with this love language place a lot value on words. Compliments carry a lot of gravity, and the way you speak to them and the words you choose tells them a lot about how much you love them. This also makes them more sensitive to negative comments and insults, and careless words used in an argument can cut deeper than you intend.

 

Acts of Service

Acts of service is based on the belief that actions speak louder than words. This is shown by doing things you know your partner would like, and by doing them happily. An example might be running an errand for your partner because you know they are busy and stressed or washing the dishes because you know it’s their least favourite chore. To people who believe that acts of service is an expression of love, going out of your way to do something for them shows them how much you care. 

 

Receiving Gifts

This love language may seem materialistic, but it truly has nothing to do with the gift itself but rather the thought and intentions of the giver. For people with this love language, receiving gifts from their partner shows them you care about them enough to put in the time and effort into making them smile. Even something as small as their favourite candy or a handmade gift is enough to make them feel loved.

 

Quality Time

This love language is all about undivided attention. It doesn’t matter what you are doing, as long as you are spending time together without distractions (phones, television, etc). Things like cancelling or postponing plans can be very hurtful to these individuals because it means that you care more about other activities than spending quality time with them. 

 

Physical Touch

Lastly, physical touch. For some people, casual intimacy is essential in a relationship. Little things like hugging or holding hands makes them feel wanted, and you risk your partner feeling unloved without that physical connection. Though you could shower them with gifts and compliments in an attempt to display your love for them, touch makes them feel connected to you in a way that nothing else can. The touch of the one they love is what shows them that you love them too.

 

It is extremely important to be open about your needs with your partner. Don’t be afraid to talk about your love languages, even if they are different! It takes an open-minded person to understand that there are different ways of giving and receiving love, and that everyone experiences love differently. But, if you can truly understand your partner’s love language and learn how to meet their needs, you will have the key to a successful relationship and open communication.

Cynthia is currently a third year life science student at McMaster University. Writing is one of her passions and she hopes to share a bit about herself through her articles and raise awareness about important issues