If you have been following my articles, then you saw that last week I wrote about what not to say to your broken-hearted friends. Finding the wrong things to say, is easy. However, finding the right things to say can be difficult. Most of the time when someone is suffering through a heartbreak, there isn’t much to say. A heartbreak is hard to go through and all of the words everyone is saying, just seems to go in one ear and out the other. Nothing seems to matter, but there are some things that are able to make them feel better, rather than only aggravating them. Of course, your words will not heal their broken heart, but it will help.
1.) I will support your every decision, but I am going to be honest with you
Telling them how it is and telling them when they are being stupid, is important. They need you to be able to be there and tell them when they aren’t making sense, but they also need you to support them. Even if they do the opposite of what you told them, right now they just need your support. Love blinds people.
2.) You deserve the best
Even though they may think they have the best right now, just be sure to reassure them that they deserve NOTHING but the best. Throughout the heartbreak, they will most likely jump around from “why wasn’t I enough?” to “but they are the best, I will never find better”. Again, don’t tell them they will find better or that they deserve better, but simply that they deserve the best and if they are what makes them happy, then you are happy.
3.) You’re a diamond
They are going to assume they are not worthy of anything, especially love. Having your heartbroken can really distort your reality. For some, it even destroys your own self love. It is hard to believe anyone will ever love you when your heart is broken. If you just make it known to them that they are a diamond rather than a rock, then they might just believe it. Everyone needs a reminder sometimes that they are important, and hearing it from your friends means so much.
4.) Whatever you need, I’m here
When your friend is going through a heartbreak, they may need many different things. Most people want Netflix, ice cream, and to cry. Maybe you could join them while they cry watching a Netflix movie and binge eating ice cream. Maybe they need a night out, or maybe they simply need to be alone. They may not even know what they need, or what they want, but the effort you put into helping, will mean a lot to them.
5.) This song reminds me of you…
Find them a song or two about strength, or even a song about friendship. Any song that is meaningful and can make someone smile, send it to them. I could list some songs for you to send, but doing it from the heart is much more meaningful. The effort, the thought, the care, and just simply being there when they are going through a hard time is all the matters.