Often when we deal with personal issues, we have someone in our life that brings light and laughter to lift us up. It’s easy to miss that they might be dealing with something deep and dark. When we look at them, we sometimes wish we felt how they do, or how they seem to feel. Not often do we notice that they are putting their all into making us feel better; into making us feel happier.
It is hard to notice it but we really have to pay attention. We don’t know the level of pain they’re feeling and that their jokes and goofiness is mostly all an act; it is a scream for help. Which is why it is important to talk to them and let them know that it is okay to take a moment and vent. Listen to them and make the moment about them. It is okay to relate your issues and talk about similar feelings or experiences but, do not compare your problems to theirs. We all have our own issues and different reactions to situations. Life’s challenges affect us all differently.
When they are trying to make you laugh, don’t make them feel underappreciated. Often they do this as part of their own healing.
It can happen to anyone, of any age. The most unexpected ones can be the ones suffering in silence. It’s easy to get mad at them for not opening up to you. My advice is for you to sit back and have a conversation about something neutral and work yourself up until they feel comfortable enough. It could take minutes and it could take days, so be patient. Don’t let the jokes and sarcasm fool you. Take care of each other and make sure all your loved ones know that you love them and that you care. Make sure they all know that you’ve got their back. Talk to them, check in on them, don’t belittle their feelings, let them vent and make them laugh too. It’s so important to appreciate what others do for you and reciprocate those actions, because you never know how much they need it.
Tips-
-
Quick text for check In
-
Offer resources/ services
-
Talk in a place they feel comfortable
-
Listen!!
-
Reassure how much they mean to you
-
Remind them that they’re unique and how lucky the world is to have them
-
Don’t just tell them but also show them that you are interested in what excites them
-
Make them laugh but also help them cry out what they’re holding inside
-
Take their feelings seriously
-
Respond to their emergencies no matter how small they seem to you
I’m not asking you to be perfect and know the answer to everything but just by checking in, showing affection, interest, listening, and being there, you could be making a huge impact on someone’s life. You never know how important and meaningful taking your time to reach out to a friend can be to them. Especially those who we don’t think need it. Trust me, they do.