Falling in love was one of my greatest adventures but falling out of love was one of my worst. I never imagined the time would come where I would have to change my relationship status on Facebook to single and be the broken-hearted girl. When I looked into her eyes, I saw forever but when she looked into mine she saw nothing but brown eyes; eyes that soon came to shed millions of tears and tell a story of pain and misery. I put my heart into her gentle hands without the fear of her ever being reckless with it. A year later and she had dropped my heart and watched as it shattered all over the place. Without ever trying to help pick up the pieces, she walked right over it and carried on with her life. She acted as if the mess on the cold hard ground was not caused by her.
After spending a year with her, she became more than just my girlfriend. She became my better half, my best friend, my therapist, and my absolute everything. When she broke up with me, she ended the relationship and I tried so desperately to keep her in my life as my best friend. For a while, I thought everything was going well. I truly thought being her friend was something I could handle, having her in my life was more than enough. Man, was I wrong. Reading the text message saying someone new likes her and there is a possibility they will become something more, broke my heart all over again. I never thought I would read that, after all it has only been three weeks. Anger was my very first reaction, I was so mad she was able to move on so quickly and easily after being together for a year. The friendship, the relationship, the trust, and the enjoyment all went out the window, right along with my heart. The stages of the breakup are an absolute roller coaster of emotions.
1. Denial
I was stuck in the “I’m in a relationship” mindset. More than anything I wanted to believe it was just a nightmare I have yet to awake from. It’s only temporary, I would tell myself every day in hopes that she would come back. This is the WORST thing to ever do when you get out of a relationship, in the end it only makes everything hurt so much worse. Your heart gets broken each and every time you realize it is not a nightmare. Save yourself the multiple heartbreaks and make yourself believe this is it. Even if they promise and try to tell you that someday you can try again, do not hold onto “maybe”.
2. Binge-watching Netflix and eating ice cream
There is no better cure to a heartbreak than watching your favorite TV show for hours straight while crying into a gallon of ice cream. You may not even have to cry, the ice cream and Netflix might be the perfect cure! Especially if the TV show you chose is funny, but if you want to cry without anyone judging or asking why, Greys Anatomy is the perfect show for you.
3. Ugly crying
Crying over EVERYTHING and I mean everything. I cried because I would hear her name, see a dog she would love, hear a song, or smell a certain scent. There are going to be so many things in life that remind you of this person and a certain memory. Who knew you could cry over a color?
4. Re-reading text messages
Going through old text messages is going to break your heart, but can also be exactly what you need. Sometimes, you just need a little reminder that everything was real and at some point, it
was everything you wanted. Do not regret a relationship just because your heart has been broken. At some point and some time, they made you happy and they were everything you ever hoped for.
5. I hate you but I love you
This is a tough stage, sometimes you just get so mad at them for breaking your heart. You just want to text them and tell them they are the worst and you hate them for everything but in the back of your mind and in your heart, you know that isn’t true. Try not to say anything you don’t mean when you’re angry, because you will regret it. Just breathe, try to remember that what you’re feeling is normal and you don’t actually hate them. You are upset with them of course but hating them is not worth it. Her happiness has always come first in my world, so how can I hate her for doing what makes her happy?