5 Stages of Unrequited Love

After going through a major life shift this past year, I wanted to share with you my experience in dealing with “unrequited love.”  

This is when one person is in love with someone, while the other person doesn’t feel the same. It is enough to break someone—unless you are willing to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I’ve been in this situation before and it wasn’t pretty—especially since it was with a friend of mine for over six years whom I was in a “non-labeled” relationship with. We always held hands, went on “dates”, and we both knew and got along great with each other’s parents. I loved them with all my heart, even though they didn’t feel the same emotions I so desperately hoped that they would. I remained in a state of perpetual longing to be with this person for so long that eventually I lost faith in myself over the years. After doing some serious soul searching this past year, this friend and I have reached out to each other and I am proud to say that we have returned to being friends. This may be a happier ending than most, but I can say with confidence that I have matured greatly and experienced immense personal growth as a result.

So here are five things that may happen to you in a case of unrequited love.

1. It will break you

From crying yourself to sleep at night, a deep hurt is felt that nothing will ever come close to replicating. It is unique in that it is one-sided, no matter how hard you try to make the other love them. But you can’t change the way others feel.  

2. It will leave you bitter

The emotional sobbing will turn into anger as you struggle to keep it together. You’ll probably end up resenting them, even though deep down you know you can never truly let go. By now you’ve likely blocked them on social media, but kept their number (just in case).  

3. It will leave you second guessing yourself

You’ll think it was all you. You’ll blame yourself and every day you’ll have flashbacks to when things seemed so perfect—too perfect—for them to not feel the same way you do.

4. It will make you change

After second guessing yourself, your emotions begin to change. Those broken, bitter, second guessing emotions will all come together to make you see that there is more to life than this. You will find hope, hope for something better. Something or even someone actually worthy of your time, dedication, and love. You begin focusing on yourself more. Maybe you’ll spend hours on Pinterest or YouTube looking up motivational quotes or positive messages. I know I sure have.  

This is the turning point…

5. You will become the best version of yourself that you have ever been…

All because you know how to love yourself after going through such emotional hardship. You will find motivation, it may even leave some room for forgiveness. Even if the other person never felt the same, you owe it to yourself to live and let live. You will feel such a huge relief lifted off of your shoulder and find happiness through yourself.

Even though loving someone that doesn’t seem to love you back is unbearable, it is nothing compared to the damage you can do to yourself in the long run.

So take it from someone that’s been there, put yourself first.