Winter, a series: MELTING

1

I haven't laughed in decades. Centuries. A millennium. It feels gritty against my tongue, it gets caught in my throat. I remember it being so easy.

What about happiness?

Happiness?

When was the last time you felt truly happy?

Happy…

Surely there must have been a time?

I’m sure there must have been. A time so deliriously, mindlessly happy. And it’s here somewhere floating around. I just can’t…it feels…it feels like the beach.

The beach?

On the beach, there are miles and miles of sand. Hundreds of millions of grains of sand. Hundreds of millions of seconds of time. All this time all around. But as soon as I try and hold onto those times, they slip through my fingers.

Were you ever happy?

Maybe I was. Maybe I’m happy right now, but I’m so very much used to being happy that I can no longer hold it. It’s grained so fine, worn so sheer. I can just barely feel it, its warmth.

Nothing feels wrong to you?

Nothing feels. I’m just very numb.

Why so sad?

Not sad. The world has just become too familiar. Such is life.

Are you--?

Okay. Just barely enough, but okay. But that’s all right. Because ‘just barely enough’ is okay. Just barely enough means alive.

2

“How beautiful,” I whisper, “the stars. Shining, for me.”

3

I didn't want to jump, I felt that would be too dramatic. So, I stepped closer…and closer…and closer…right up to the edge until only my heels were bound to something tangible. It was only a matter of seconds before I let go…so I let go…

...And I flew.

Image Credits:

https://www.stocksy.com/189911/sand-falling-through-fingers

https://www.samanthasbell.com/stargazing-2/

https://www.pinterest.de/pin/483222235011419343/