My favourite season is upon us once again. No, I am not referring to the blustery, snowy wonderland that is Narnia Montreal at the present. I am, of course, referring to awards season.
Watching beautiful people win awards for saying lines dramatically is all that sustains me in these dark times. The Golden Globes are the first big one of the season, and last night’s broadcast was an… interesting one to say the least. I have some thoughts on the winners, losers, speeches, and the coordinated all-black fashion.
Despite the highly political nature of the red carpet “black out,” I refuse to not comment on the fashions with my usual snarky wit, ad nauseam. See the following:
Nothing but respect for my president.
Nothing but respect for my Queen.
This was 100 percent a courtesy show-up on the part of Ms. Huppert. She also looks like a sparkling-emerald-covered goddess.
Somebody needs to check on Karl Lagerfeld’s mental health. What on earth is this Chanel monstrosity?
I love my parents.
At this point in my awards show recaps, I tend to begin the endless gibberish and go through each tick of the show in order. Seeing as it is a new year, a new era of recaps must be ushered in. I have decided to divide my thoughts between the good and the bad of the evening; obviously these are my own personal thoughts and in no way reflect anything other than the depths of my disturbed psyche. Let’s go!
The Good:
- The quick pace and lack of BS: Most award shows drag and drag and drag, as the actors do these little bits before handing out awards and attempt to be funny. Thankfully, last night was so fast-paced that there was no time for awkwardly timed jokes. Praise be.
- Seth Meyers opening monologue: I love Seth, and I still do. He was properly savage, making the entire room slightly uncomfortable by firing out Harvey Weinstein and Kevin Spacey jokes. He kept it sharp, funny, political, and snappy. Also, there were several peach-related Call Me By Your Name jokes, because, of course. A+.
- Oprah: Oprah.
- The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel sweeping the Television Comedy Category: This show really is marvelous! It is on Amazon Prime right now, and if you adore snappy dialogue, thoughtfully written female characters, and 1950’s costuming, you will love it was much as me. Rachel Brosnahan is magnetic as the title character, so I was so pleased to see her take home the award for Best Actress in a Comedy. Creator Amy Sherman-Palladino (Gilmore Girls, Bunheads) accepted the award on behalf of th show’s win for Best Comedy and I wish she was my best friend. She just ended her speech asking if there was cheese backstage. A queen.
- This high-five between Guillermo del Toro and Salma Hayek:
- Laura Dern winning for her portrayal of Renata Klein on Big Little Lies: It is Laura Dern. Also, have you seen those pics of her and her boyfriend? She is winning 2018.
- Natalie Portman saying this:
- Isabelle Huppert saying “Sall-ee Awk-eens, Tha Shapee ov Wader”: A French queen whom we do not deserve.
- Ewan McGregor, still a snack: I mean…
- Lady Bird and Saoirse (Like Inertia!): Anyone who has been within a stone-throws distance to me in the past month has had to listen to me talk about how amazing Greta Gerwig’s directorial debut is. I just felt all the things. It is so relatable and lovely and just a perfect film in all regards. It was a shame Greta wasn’t nominated for Best Director, but was amazing to see it win Best Comedy or Musical and Best Actress (Saoirse Ronan). Also, Saoirse Ronan is only 23 and she has been around forever. I am a failure.
- Christina Hendricks’ reading glasses:
The Bad:
- Big Little Lies (Hear me out!): I thought BLL was great, so I wasn’t surprised that it picked up 4 Golden Globes (Nicole Kidman, Alexander Skarsgård, Laura Dern, and Best Limited Series). It was stunningly shot (by Montreal native Jean Marc-Vallée), with a killer soundtrack, and a fabulous cast. That said, the success of the show has now lent itself to HBO greenlighting a second season. How about… no! Let the story just live where it left off; there really is nothing left to say for the characters and it just feels like an icky money grab to me. I don’t want a Big Little Lies 2: 2 Big 2 Little 2 Lie. Keep it.
- James Franco and Gary Oldman winning best actor even though they are predators and abusers and the night was meant to be centered around women’s voices and speaking out: Just going to leave these links here…
– James Franco creepily tried to get a 17-year-old girl to hook up with him at a hotel.
– Gary Oldman abused his ex-wife, among a myriad of other controversial things.
- Where was Laurie Metcalf’s Golden Globe?: It was appalling that her performance in Lady Bird goes unrewarded. She lost to Allison Janney for her performance in I, Tonya, which brings me to my next point…
- The repulsive adulation of Tonya Harding: In Allison Janney’s acceptance speech she discussed how her film was a story of truth and essentially lauded Tonya Harding as some kind of honesty/feminist icon? I am sorry, but what the hell? She conspired to beat in another woman’s knees to win a medal. That is the opposite of what the entire evening was about. To paraphrase a tweet I saw last night, can you imagine how Nancy Kerrigan must feel to be a footnote on a story that is now nominated for Best Comedy? Yeah… I am sure that was such a hilarious time for Nancy.
- Timmy Chalamet is my lord and saviour, and he was robbed of awards: Call Me By Your Name won zero awards. This is blasphemy to the highest degree. It is just further proof that these award shows mean absolutely nothing. I saw CMBYN for the first time a couple of days ago, running on 3-hours of sleep and fresh off a 10-hour airport/plane travelling day. I was, in a word, destroyed by it. I cannot even call it a film; it was an out-of-body transcendent experience. I felt such a wave of emotions, up and down and sideways. Tears rolled down my face throughout in such supply. Anyway, my point is it deserved every award it was nominated for and more. I hope the Oscars do better.
As I said, it was an interesting evening. All of the speeches were sharply political, and there was these sense of momentum and change in the air. It was lovely to see these level of unity during a time when things feel so divided in our country.
Until the Oscars…
For a full list of Golden Globe winners see here.
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