This week I had the pleasure of interviewing Esther, a university student from the UK about her own experience with interfaith relationships. She is a Christian while her boyfriend is an atheist. Faith plays a significant part in her life and thus also affects her relationship.
What would you want someone to know who’s thinking about getting into an interfaith relationship?
If you are thinking about getting into an interfaith relationship and faith is very important to you, I think it is important to think carefully about what you’re getting into. Definitely don’t go into the relationship with any hopes or expectations that the other person will convert to your religion. You need to accept the person for who they are and don’t try to change that. For me, I went in with the hope that he would become Christian and I don’t think that’s a good idea because then you just get disappointed when it doesn’t happen. Not to say it can’t happen but just don’t go into the relationship thinking it will. It’s not a good basis to start a relationship and may not work out how you expected.
What difficulties have you encountered in the relationship?
I guess the main difficulty is just being on different pages about things, which are important to you in terms of values and morals. So sometimes we don’t fully understand each other and why we think or act certain ways. And that can lead to a lot of arguments and miscommunication sometimes. He doesn’t always understand that my opinions stem from my faith and how it pans out in my day-to-day life. And similarly I don’t always understand his actions. Another difficulty, I would say, is not being able to fully share such as significant part of my life with him.
And what about the positives within the relationship?
I think there are many positives. We have learnt a lot about each other’s views and beliefs. It’s always good to gain different perspectives and I’ve learnt about how he sees the world. It does generate good discussions about why he believes certain things and how that plays a role in his life. I think I’ve started to appreciate different worldviews more and gained an insight into other religions and beliefs thanks to him.
What have you learnt from it?
Different views of the world and how people see things. I think, as I already said, it’s taught me not to go into the relationship with expectations about changing the person or wanting them to change. I’ve learnt not to put pressure on things in the relationship. And I guess I’ve learnt relationships aren’t perfect but despite the differences, it can still work out; it’s not the end of the world to have different views and beliefs. It’s normal to not always agree on everything.
Images obtained from:
http://interfaith.itssm.org/seeking-a-quiet-place-inside/
https://www.tabletmag.com/wp-content/files_mf/interfaithbig.jpg