When midterm season lasts all semester at McGill, you can’t help but put things off every now and then. Ah, who are you kidding, you’d procrastinate even if you only had one thing on your to-do list. You probably even procrastinated getting out of bed this morning, didn’t you? Here are the eight stages of procrastination we all go through. And if you don’t identify with this list, please keep that to yourself and let the rest of us live happily thinking that everyone else do these things too.
1. Attempt at getting ahead
You tell yourself things are going to be different this time. You’re not going to end up panicked and screwed. You’re going to start studying/that paper/that research assignment ahead of time.
2. False sense of security
You can’t help but get distracted with Netflix or online shopping or…doing absolutely nothing. It’s fine though, you have soooo much time until the due date. You’ll be okay.
3. Forgetting about said responsibility completely
It’s like forgetting an ex-lover. Days go by and you start thinking of it less and less. Eventually, it doesn’t bother you at all anymore and it’s like it never existed.
4. Actual sense of panic
And then you remember. And it’s like the sky’s going to fall because oh gosh, there’s no time to do it, and there’s no time to panic, and there’s no time breathe or eat or sleep.
5. Procrastinating even though there’s no more time
You’ve set a schedule, and you’re going to be okay. But ugh do you have to do it. I mean there’s still a bit more time. Yeah, just one more episode of Friends and then you’ll actually start. Okay, two. And then maybe a bubble bath. You’ve done so much already today. Schedule schmedule.
6. Coffee, redbull, more coffee, and the darkness of the night
Crap. Crap. Crap. Okay. This is it. This is what you’ve been preparing for all your life. You’re going to chug some caffeine and then chug some more. And then you’re going to power through so hard that all other students who pull all nighters in the future will hear about the legend of your all nighter and be inspired.
7. Blissful relaxation
You did it. The world’s off your shoulders and you can finally breathe. And maybe sleep a lot too.
8. Rinse, dry, repeat
I mean it metaphorically and physically, since you didn’t have time for a shower last night. But you know damn well that this will happen again in a few weeks, or sooner. Whatever, there’s no shame.
Well, there’s some, but not enough to motivate you to break the cycle.