As the clock struck midnight and the year on my laptop turned from 2020 to 2021, I felt myself bracing for impact. Not for the world to explode (though that does seem more and more possible these days), but for an inevitable flood of diet announcements and New Years resolutions to lose weight. Luckily, none immediately appeared in the midst of my pitiful New Year’s party zoom call, but as soon as I woke up the next morning, like clockwork I saw three people on Instagram sharing their plans to finally rid themselves of their “quarantine weight.” I wanted to roll my eyes, to dismiss the deluge of weight goals and diet plans as proof that these girls were foolish and insecure, that they had not yet freed themselves from the crushing fist of diet culture like I had. But then I paused, ashamed of myself for my momentarily cruel mindset. They had no ill intentions, and who was I to judge them?
Anyone who has access to social media has felt the sting of self-hatred that comes with seeing somebody with a “better” body than yours on their timeline. You look at them, be it a friend of yours or a celebrity, their flat stomach, their toned legs and arms, and you can’t help but compare yourself to them. Why can’t you look like that? Maybe you just need to change your lifestyle, maybe you could cut out carbs, or try going keto, or whatever other diet you just saw *that* influencer promoting. Hell, maybe it’s finally time to try that skinny tea you keep seeing ads for. There are hundreds of weight-loss options out there for you to explore! You probably just haven’t found the right one yet.
The truth is, no amount of dieting is going to fix that feeling. There will always be somebody with a “better” body than yours, especially in a culture where the “trendy” body type is constantly in flux. It’s extremely likely that your body simply isn’t “in” right now, and there is nothing you can do about that. Of course, diet companies would never tell you that. They’ll tell you that anyone can achieve a thin, but not too thin hourglass figure, with a big, but not too big butt, and of course, a thigh gap to go along with it. They’ll tell you anything is possible, as long as you’re willing to work for it, and more important, buy whatever they’re selling you to achieve it. These companies make millions of dollars telling you that your body is wrong, no matter how nicely they tell you.
If your reaction to this is “What? Are you just suggesting we all be unhealthy and get fat? Have fun dying early!” then I would tell you two things. One, I understand! It’s very difficult to unlearn the idea that being thin is the only way to be healthy after it’s so constantly shoved down our throats, but I ask that you keep an open mind! Two, I would tell you that there are many, many fat people that live perfectly healthy lives! We live in a society that values thinness so much that we have convinced ourselves that it is not only the aesthetic ideal, but also the only way to be healthy, and that simply isn’t true. To use a very popular example, look at someone like Lizzo, who is undeniably fat, yet if you look at any of her social medias, you’ll see constant exercise posts and delicious vegan food. If she were thin, she would be considered the picture of health and wellness.
So, what does all of this mean in a pandemic? As mentioned above, it has become pretty commonplace to hear people griping about their “quarantine weight” and claiming that they must get back into shape before we can all go out again. Somehow, despite our extraordinary circumstances, we see this as a time to really crack down on our bodies, to be extra hard on them because we dared to relax for a couple of months. Well, I have to tell you, that ten pounds you gained during the most turbulent and uncertain time of our lives? That’s not gonna kill you. That’s an extremely natural response to a sudden violent change in your lifestyle, and it should be treated as such. There is no better time than the present to start learning to love your body, no matter what state it’s in. Unfortunately, being stuck inside all day means it is also easier than ever to focus on our insecurities, to spiral into a vortex of self-hatred that is incredibly difficult to get out of.
Un-learning everything you’ve ever been told about how to feel about your body is difficult, but here are some places you can start:
- Think about what your body does for you. It allows you to move, to dance, to play instruments, to write, to do whatever it is you like doing! Learn to appreciate what a gift your body is.
- Unfollow influencers selling you diet products. They don’t have a body like that because they drink Fit tea. They have a body like that because they have more money, time, and resources to devote to dieting and exercising than you likely ever will. Also, nearly all weight loss teas, shakes, lollypops, dummies, etc. are just laxatives.
- Seek out anti-diet content! My personal favourite instagrammer is @yourfatfriend! She writes great essays on fatphobia, diet culture, and how you’ve been lied to about health. On her page you can find numerous resources to get started on! In my opinion, Fearing the Black Body: The Racial Origins of Fat Phobia by Sabrina Strings is an essential text, as it explores how racism and anti-fatness are intertwined.
These tips have helped me learn how to be gentler and kinder to myself, and I hope you find yours too. Don’t forget to be kind to those around you, though. Like I said at the beginning of this article, learning about all of this has made me somewhat judgmental of those who still diet and that is a streak I definitely need to break. Diet culture is so engrained into our society that it is not your fault if you’re still caught up in it. The best we can do is learn, and hopefully, one day we can find a way to live at peace with ourselves, and our bodies.