I am not what people call a militant feminist. I do believe that gender equality is essential for the foundation of a society, but I am not blind to the fact that women have been categorized as fragile, sensitive and important in matters of the house ever since the industrial revolution in the 18th century.
Sometimes it feels like the world has made huge improvements in breaking down the belief that this is a “man’s world”. Women can now be seen occupying high political roles. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, in 1979 there were only 3% of women in U.S. Congress as opposed to 18.3% in 2013. There are so many different examples showing that societies and cultures are realizing that women have a voice and are striving for a more equal way of life.
Unfortunately, there are moments when I feel that there are still some big obstacles that need to be addressed to keep the equality movement augmenting. Mat Forney wrote an opinionated article that recently grabbed my attention while browsing the internet this past week. On September 16, 2013 Forney decided to share to the world why he believes that insecurity is what makes a woman appealing. Now besides looking at the obvious misogynistic and egotistical complex Forney screams at the readers throughout his whole article, I think there are other points that men think about, but never really say in fear of women’s opinions.
Forney breaks down his three reasons why he believes that “women should be discouraged from being confident”.
1. Most girls have done nothing to deserve self-esteem
Matt Forney believes this it is a “man’s world” because men have earned respect from other men by achieving something worthy. Careers in today’s society could survive without women, but if men were all to be fired, the world would no longer be. Later, he also states that higher education can no longer be considered a great achievement.
I could state every single thing that is wrong in this faulty reasoning, but I wouldn’t be able to expand on any other points Forney tries to make a case out of. Instead I call attention to this particular quote of his “men accord respect based on merit, and if girls want to play in our world, they’ll have to obey our rules”. Thanks to Matt Forney, this sentence clearly elaborates what is problematic in today’s society. Some men refuse to believe that society can be seen as a combination of men and women. According to them, women are able to participate because they were kind enough to allow us to enter the workforce. Let’s face it though; men have never given their permission to have careers. They gave us our place because they had no choice. Women were needed during World War II to build military machines. When the men came back, they faced workers unwilling to abandon their places. Thus men only had the choice to comply and let us participate in the work force. Why else would today’s men feel like they need to undermine a successful woman who just received the promotion they wanted?
Women were never given anything. We have achieved our rights in Western society all on our own. If Forney would like to disagree, there is a clear example in the Middle East of women who are fighting for their rights. How can a man say women only reach petty achievements when men have been given everything from their day of birth?
Matt Forney’s two other points touch on the same point.
2. Insecurity is integral to femininity
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3. Women don’t want to have high self-esteem
According to Forney, insecurity is what makes a woman attractive and deep down, women know this, which is why subconsciously we cry out for men to save us from ourselves.
Unless you are a Disney Prince, no women should be thought of as a damsel in distress. Yes, we are emotional and vulnerable, but in a relationship men are too. That is why a relationship works. For two human beings to be able to love each other, that means there needs to be an acceptance of the other’s strength and weaknesses.
If insecurity was truly what made women feminine then why do movies portray femme fatales as the most beautiful women? Why are girls who are popular (read that as confident) the most wanted girls in school?
If Matt Forney is so right, why then is today’s society trying to send positive images to women about their bodies, their personalities and thus, their self-esteem? Let me make this clear. It is because men, like Matt Forney, still view women as in need of a hero. I’m sorry to have to be the one to tell you this Matt, but there is no such thing as a man who sweeps girls off their feet like Hercules. Wake up. Life isn’t about the big, strong man saving the small, scared little girl. Today it’s about adults and reality. The world is changing Matt and it’s time you started too.
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