You would think that snowstorms are reason enough to keep people from hitting the party scene – but it doesn’t! Any true Montrealer knows that a little snow never hurt anybody and it surely isn’t going to keep you from tearing it up on the dance floor. Here are 24 things that always happen if you go clubbing during the infamous Montreal winter:
1. You always have to wear tights under your clothes.
Unless you like hypothermia.
2. You always second-guess your outfit.
Because those tights do nothing for your legs.
3. You always think the weather isn’t too bad.
Even though you know it’s literally the worst.
4. Somehow you always wind up eating poutine.
Canada’s greatest contribution to the world.
5. Your hair always gets ruined before the club because of the snow.
What kind of hairstyle is waterproof?
6. You always cringe when looking in the mirror at the bathrooms in the nightclub.
And yes, that might be urine on the floor.
7. Your eyeliner never turns out right.
This happens whether it’s winter or not.
8. Someone also always ends up puking in a pile of snow.
Hopefully it’s not you!
9. You always get excited when they start playing your favourite Canadian artist.
Canadian artists REPRESENT.
10. Some creep always asks for your number.
And you always turn them down.
11. You always have to coat check your Canada Goose.
This is where all your money goes.
12. You hate how your Canada Goose looks with your outfit.
No matter what, these coats will never be fashionable.
13. You always speak poor conversational French to strangers.
And they always make fun of you for it.
14. You always wear uncomfortable shoes.
But they are so cute, you just had too…
15. You always say you’re going to move to Hawaii one day.
The land of warmth and happiness.
16. Someone always starts talking about Justin Trudeau’s hair.
You have to admit, the man has some nice hair.
17. You take way too many pictures, but none of them turn out right.
Does your chin always look this huge?
18. You feel more like a bundled-up marshmallow than actually attractive.
The epic struggle to decide whether to be warm or cute.
19. Someone always slips in the snow.
And you always laugh (unless it was you).
20. You drink way more than you expected to.
One more isn’t going to hurt, right?
21. You always freeze to death while trying to smoke outside.
You literally can’t feel your fingers anymore.
22. You always have to deal with snow stains on your new shoes.
It’s nearly impossible to get rid of them.
23. You spend way more on taxis than you can afford.
It’s too much effort to walk with all this snow.
24. You always think you had the best night ever.
Because Montreal is the best city ever!
Canadians are a resilient bunch. That’s why we never let a little bit of winter snow keep us from going hard like the party animals we are – as long as poutine is involved. Enjoy the winter, McGillians, and don’t forget to party hard.
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