Coffee shops are probably the only ones who enjoy finals season. Most likely this is because their coffee sales increased an estimated 200% thanks to desperate and tired studiers in need of their coffee fix. Finals have the power to turn even the most tea-loving students into coffee monsters. Here are 25 ways you know finals have turned you into a coffee addict.
1. You get caffeine-withdrawal headaches if you don’t have a cup of coffee every 4 hours. This means you enter your exams with 2 cups of coffee and Tylenol in case you feel a headache coming on.
2. You can only focus on studying if you have a cup of coffee next to you. It’s a security-blanket type deal.
3. You don’t care if the coffee is black or not, you want it and you want it now. You might prefer your coffee a certain way, but beggars can’t be choosers.
4. Lorelai Gilmore is your spirit animal. “I need coffee in an IV”- the most true statement that anyone ever did say.
5. You would rather wake up to a large cup of coffee than a good morning text from your significant other. This says a lot about your values and priorities.
6. You need to live in close proximity to a coffee shop. You obviously need to have a coffee shop close for emergency situations ( ie. if your coffee machine breaks down, you run out of coffee beans). It’s the responsible thing to do.
7. You have a strong opinion on Premiere Moisson, but you spend money there regardless because they have coffee. They may be the enemy (RIP Timmies), but you give in to them in order to meet your coffee cravings.
8. You can taste the difference if anyone tries to switch out your regular coffee with decaf. Your friends know never to try this on you again because last time you didn’t talk to them for a week.
9. The barista knows your order. There is no need to verbalize it. When she sees you walking in she starts on your order because that’s how bad things are.
10. You are asking for your own personal espresso machine for your birthday. A Breville would be preferred, but you will settle for a Keurig.
11. You consider ‘Roll up the Rim’ season at Tim Horton’s to be one of the greatest joys in life. Why does every country not have Tim Hortons?!
12. You consider Tim Horton’s to be your significant other. It gets a teeny bit complicated when you try and explain this romantic infatuation to anyone.
13. You have spent more money on coffee than you have on alcohol this past month. Come to think of it, you much prefer coffee to alcohol anyways.
14. You will never understand people who only drink tea. The only explanation is they either get eight-plus hours of sleep per night or are a robot.
15. You will accept Starbucks gift cards from anyone who owes you money. You spend enough money at Starbucks anyways that it really doesn’t make a difference to you.
16. If you don’t have coffee before 9am, you know that the day is just going to be really bad. You’ll be like Oscar the Grouch from Sesame Street, except without the green fur and child appropriate humour.
17. You always order the largest size they have and sometimes buy more than one cup. Yes, I will have and two XL coffees and they are both for me because I haven’t done my readings since the first week of the semester.
18. 80% of your social media updates have to do with coffee. By 2pm you have already instagrammed your third coffee of the day, tweeted about your love for espresso shots, and posted a coffee-related article on Facebook.
19. Your lecture notes are covered in coffee stains. It bothered you at first, but you couldn’t care less anymore.
20. Your friends are seriously concerned for your health. They keep telling you that drinking this much coffee isn’t healthy, but you couldn’t care less.
21. You keep saying that you’re going to quit drinking coffee once finals are over. In other words, you will quit drinking coffee until finals season next semester in which these never ending cycle will continue until after post-grad school.
Only after finals will students have the power to end their coffee-dependency. The first couple weeks of summer for any coffee addicts are going to be filled with a lot of withdrawal migraines and decaf substitutes. To anyone who has resisted caffeine addiction, the rest of us surely must learn from your strength.
Good luck with the rest of finals, collegiettes. The end is almost near!
Images obtained from:
http://www.canadianbusiness.com/business-strategy/tim-hortons-new-coffee-cup-why-the-supersize/