To The Boy I Thought Was Different

Valentines Day is a time to think about those we love, but also reminds us of those whom we have loved and lost.

To the Boy I Thought Was Different,

Let me start by telling you that you are not. You might believe in your heart that you are so different than all the other boys who just want to mess around, but you are not. I think that is what killed me. You convinced me that you would treat me like a princess and that I would never feel unappreciated or like I wasn’t worth it. It’s funny because that is exactly how I feel right now.

I let you in after blocking people out for so long. I want you to know that I regret it. I told you everything that mattered to me. Hanging out with you was my favorite part of any day. I never cared what we were doing, whether it was watching a movie with our friends or making food, I loved it.

At first, you were the definition of perfect. All of my friends were jealous and I was constantly being told how cute we were together. You wanted to be with me as often as you could be… but then everything changed.

I think you knew you had me. You knew that I wanted you, no matter what. So, you became more distant. I went from seeing you every day to seeing you a few times a week to seeing you once. I think I was naïve. I thought that you could not be with me because you were busy with school or sports, but that was not it. I know you will deny it, but other girls became more appealing to you.

I never asked what you were doing or whom you were hanging out with. I trusted you, and maybe that was the problem. I always want to believe the best in people and I think that is my best and worst quality.

I want you to know how much pain you have caused me. I was heartbroken and I don’t think you cared very much. I hurt you in some ways, and I get that but I do not think the right way to get back at me was to hurt me in every way possible. You did not think about my feelings or how I was hurt.

Please know that I still wish the best for you. I still hope that you find someone who treats you like you are supposed to be treated. I still believe that you deserve the best and nothing less. I hope she treats you a thousand times better than I did and I hope she appreciates everything you do for her.

I just hope that one day you look back and realize that I really tried with you. I tried to be what you wanted, but I was not. I really cared about you and you did not realize that. We both made mistakes, and I hope you could recognize that. 

Until next time,

You know who