Ask Alyssa: Edition 2

“What is your advice for making a fall schedule?”

There’s not much to say about making a fall schedule, other than you gotta do it.  Depending on how structured your major is, you should have your core classes mapped out first, and then choose your electives afterwards.  Definitely be sure to have backup classes, and don’t bank on making it into all of your first choices.  The rest is all up to personal preference.  Do you prefer getting your classes over with in the morning or sleeping in and taking night classes? Do you prefer cramming all your classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays to keep your MWF free? It’s all up to you!

My last piece of advice would be don’t hesitate to reach out to your professors or advisor if needed.  Even if you feeling like you’re pestering them with your emails, it is their job to help you.  At the same time, while it’s their job, they have plenty else that keeps them busy so you need to take charge and make sure you’re on track with your degree and they’re there to guide you.  

So get your laptop and a group of friends, countdown to midnight like it’s New Year’s Eve, and happy registration!

 

“What should I tell my friend who just got back together with her ex?”

    I gather from this question, that if you’re asking, it’s because you disagree with the choice that your friend has made to rekindle things with their ex.  Otherwise if you’re happy for them, say it!  If you’re not… I have a few things to say about that but every situation is different.  If this is the first time your friend has gotten back with their ex, maybe you can simply express how you personally feel they could do better for themselves but walk alongside them.  Maybe they just need more time to see the situation for what it really is, and it is crucial that they have you by their side during that process.  If this is a recurring situation for your friend, whether with this ex or every ex prior, I’m sorry to say it may be time to step back and do so out of truly caring for your friend and wanting what’s best for them.  I say this for several reasons.  One is because you cannot help someone who does not want to be helped, and they need to make their own mistakes and learn from them.  Another reason, is because if this has become a pattern, it will take a lot for that pattern to break and no one can do that but your friend.  It is not your place to become emotionally wrapped in a situation that you are not involved in.  I personally do not believe in the, “well if you’re happy, then I’m happy for you” mentality.  If you have your friend’s best interests at heart, you should have the confidence to love them enough to tell them the truth.  I’m willing to bet, as much as it may not seem like it, that your friend knows deep down that they are settling for less than the love they deserve.  As their friend, you probably have the greatest chance at figuring out what makes them go back to that which doesn’t satisfy.  Stay strong when friendship gets tough and never stop loving.  

Lastly, keep the big picture in mind.   In due time, this situation will be in the past and you’ll wonder why you took a situation that was serious, yes, but made it seem earth-shattering.  There comes a point where you surrender at trying to change others and instead focus on becoming the best example that you, yourself can be.  

 

“With Mother’s Day and finals right around the corner, what could I do for my mom to make her feel special on a ‘broke college student’s’ budget?”

    I’m a terrible gift-giver so I’m unoriginal and I figure it’s all been done, why not get some ideas online?  Google and Pinterest will be your best friend.  It could be something as simple as a picture of you two in a frame or a classic “I’ll clean the dishes” coupon.  However, while you are on a college budget, keep your priorities in check.  How much of your mom’s paycheck has she spent on you your whole life? Think about skipping your daily starbucks run or getting your nails done and putting that money towards the woman who has sacrificed so much for you.  And while you’re not going to get her a diamond necklace, it’s truly the principle of thinking enough of your mother to make her feel special on her day, since every other day in her world is probably about you (sorry, I’m just being honest!).  

    When I was really young, I read a child’s book where a frog gave his mom a mud pie full of flies and she loved it.  I rolled my eyes and said to my mom, “Mom’s love everything!”.  She holds that against me to this day, but it’s true.  You know your mom best; if it’s from you, she will be flattered.  Anything is better than those scribbles on a page you gave her in kindergarten.  

 

    If you, or any of your friends, has any questions for Alyssa, feel free to submit questions anonymously here: https://goo.gl/forms/QbaI1LzDeL9oNg1w2