Lots of people — whether they own up to it or not — are on the popular dating and hookup app, Tinder, for a hot minute. Then, many of them make the realization, “Oh hey, this is actually really creepy. If I’m looking for a genuine connection with another person, which could turn into a substantial relationship, this probably isn’t the right place for me to find that… Hmmm… Maybe I’ll delete my account.” Onward from there, they actually start applying themselves socially, hoping to meet a stand-up, solid, human being who is not creepy in any way!
Sometimes, there is pressure to join Tinder and try it out for fun. Your friends say, “There are some really attractive people on here,” or “It’s like shopping for a date.” Then, in the beginning, there is a phase where the app is freakishly addictive. After that, you bore of it because you see the obvious: On the internet, you can say virtually anything to a stranger, without any negative ramifications on yourself. Tinder has no “technical liability contract” — when it comes to communication between users. Who is really taking it seriously? You don’t have to respond, or when you message someone, you can say or do things like this….
Here are the worst Tinder pickup lines and stories, received and experienced exclusively by me and my friends. As a funny coincidence, none of us are on Tinder anymore. And, you’ll see why:
(This article will not reveal who received what messages and experienced which dating horrors for privacy reasons. Just creating some mystery…)
Opening Lines & Texting:1. Nutella-Gate
Him: “So, would you like it if I spread Nutella all over your body and licked it off?”His follow-up: “That’s only the first question.”
Her Reaction: “Blocked him ASAP. Ew, I still eat Nutella, but do not think of him. This is always a great story because it is just so bizarre. Yet, there is of course an aspect of creepiness, and that is why I am no longer on Tinder. Never again.”
2. Dinner AND a Show
Him: “I would be happy to take you out on a date to dinner or a movie, but I would expect something afterwards.”
Her Reaction: “Thanks for being so upfront, but I believe in chivalry.”
3. Just…EW!
Him: In mid-texting conversation, he said, “I was arrested this weekend in Miami for public urination. Pretty typical for me.”
Her Reaction: “So, when you are messaging me, are you in jail, out of jail, or is this just a joke? Your face is blocked. Too bad.”
Him: “Should we get to know each other first or just get married?”
Her Reaction: “Kind of cute, and flattering to receive… But it’s all sweet-talking. It’s the kind of thing someone says for attention, and an immediate response at that.” (Yet, possibly this is the most docile opening line on this list?)
4. Let’s Play the Ethnicity Game
Him: “Are you Spanish?”
Her Reaction: She chuckled, “Yes, half-Colombian, part Dutch, to be exact. So, Hispanic, but not from Spain“… Now, he’s going to ask why I don’t look Hispanic. Just watch.
Him: “But you don’t look Hispanic.”
Her Reaction: *Sigh* Story of my life! (And if you know me personally, this was obviously experienced by yours truly hahaha.)
5. We’ve All Hear This One
Him: “What are you doing later tonight?”
Her Reaction: “Having an amazing time with a different guy apparently, which does not concern you. Ho hum night for you all alone, Mr. Booty Call.”
6. Can I See Your ID?
Him: “You really 20?”
Her Reaction: Clearly an immature comment from the guy! She said, “I was 20 at the time, and apparently he thought I looked like I was in high school. That’s not the way to score a date or anything else with me, or anyone else.”
7. What’s a “Meh”?
Him: “We should go to that bar in your profile picture. Text meh.”
Her Reaction: She thought, “Meh?”
8. Still Requesting the Booty
Him: In mid-texting conversation, he said, “You’re really pretty. So, I would love to hook up.”
Her Reaction: Another extremely upfront guy! She said, “Not interested, but thank you for allowing to me to end the conversation here. This way, neither one of us will waste our time!” What a trouper!
Shocking Dating Stories:
9. Dating Ms. Cleo
She went on 2 dates with a guy she met on Tinder. He seemed perfectly normal. Then, on their second date, he told her, “I have something to tell you. I’m psychic, and I predicted 9/11. I can see your future, and it looks really bright.” Is it too late for her to swipe to the left ASAP?
10. Too Many Awk Snaps
She went on 2 dates with a guy she met on Tinder. He seemed perfectly normal. Then, after their second date, he added her on Snapchat. He then started spamming her with bizarre snaps, such as the scenarios of “Zombies are chasing me,” “I’m crying in my cubical at the office,” and other attention-provoking attempts.
11. The Disappearing Act
She went on 2 dates with a guy she met on Tinder. He seemed relatively normal. They made plans to go on another date, but he never called her back until 3 months later. Thinking it was inappropriate for him to assume he could float back into her life, she never responded. Then, he contacted her 1 month later, wanting to go on a date. She never responded. Again, 1 month later, he contacted her wanting to go on a date. He was angry and didn’t understand why she wasn’t responding. No need to be so resentful, dude! Then, she met her boyfriend.
As these Tinder tales make evident, being on a dating app is a sea of hilarity. If you really give it a shot, you will have some crazy dating stories. But, if you really give it a shot, you (hopefully) will also meet some cool people and have some interesting conversations! The key to online dating is to use it as a supplement to your meetings and interactions in daily life, in order to expand your pool of options. Clearly, some people lack emotional intelligence and say unusual things, but don’t fret! You will find the keeper. (Just most likely off Tinder…)