This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Marymount chapter.
This past June I was in the beginnings of an ultimate romance, until two frightful words slipped the mouth of my gorgeous summer boy: “good girl”. That’s right, he called me a good girl, and on multiple occasions. I hadn’t really thought about what it meant up until I met him, and things started to go downhill from there. Although it may seem like a compliment, here’s what it really means to be called a “good girl” by your boo:
1. He has high expectations of you.
You’re an innocent, flowery little butterfly. Possibly a virgin. No sex for you, and heaven forbid you would ever think about another man when you’re with him. You’re a loyal little puppy dog, and he’s so thankful to have a girl like you and not one who’s slept around.
2. He objectifies you.
He puts you on a pedestal. You’re pure, kind, sweet and lovely, not like all the other girls. You’re the spitting image of an angel. Lucky you.
3. He has a creepy desire to corrupt you.
Every good girl wants to go bad right? Under all that baby talk and praise, there’s a horny little man inside who wants to take you to the dark side. He’ll take pleasure in watching you unfold, and after he’s had you, he might just lose interest. Turns out he liked you better as a good girl.
4. You being a good girl doesn’t mean he has to be a good boy.
Men aren’t held to the same standards as women. He doesn’t need to be innocent. He can flirt or sleep around with whoever he wants, and in no way does that devalue his goods. You might be a good girl, but in no way does that mean he needs to be a good boy to get with you.
5. Your the kind of girl he wants to marry, but doesn’t want to date.
You are the girl he takes home to mom and dad, but he’s not quite ready for that yet. It may take him a couple more years of self discovery and freedom before he wants to settle down, and unfortunately, you are the kind he wants to settle down with.
“Good girl” is society’s way of putting us into a box. It’s a cultural construct, built off of two extremities. Either you can be a “good girl” or a “bad girl”, and must carry the weight of all the nonsensical impressions that come along with that image.
If a guy is referring to you as a “good girl,” he may not understand these cultural constructs, and is looking at you as one of two extremities rather than the full, beautiful human being you are. Make sure he understands the implications behind what he’s calling you, and let him know just how unique and special you are. Why do you have to be a “good girl” or a “bad girl”? Last time I checked, I was a little bit of both.