We’ve all seen the movies and heard the horror stories. From the budding high school player in “John Tucker Must Die” to the notoriously wicked cheating husband from “The Other Woman”, Hollywood has repeatedly reminded us of the non-monogamous tendencies that men can have. Now that you’ve grown up and are playing the dating game yourself, you find yourself questioning whether or not these movies are a little too close to home. The guy you’ve been seeing makes your heart skip a beat, but it may not be in a good way. Here are 5 signs that you too, may be dating a player.
1. You’re the most special girl he’s ever met.
And he swears it’s true. He fell for you hard and he fell for you fast, and wasn’t afraid to tell you all about his affections. He gushes over you, and has never felt a connection like this before. His quick confession of his feelings makes you feel like a queen, and you’re a little too overwhelmed by how charming he is to think twice about his intentions.
2. He’s all about the chase.
After he’s spilled about how spectacular you are, you decide it may be time to ‘fess up as well. You tell him the feelings are mutual, and everything is beautiful for a moment… until the fireworks start to fizzle. His constant texting and complimenting begin to slow down, and when you talk, he seems less eager to share about himself. Now that he knows he has your attention, he doesn’t feel the need to impress you or fight for it anymore.
3. He’s all about you, but not all about a relationship with you.
That initial excitement seems to have died down and now you’re left confused and eager to define your relationship. If he felt so strongly about you, then why doesn’t he want to move forward? He becomes distant and tells you that he just needs time to open up, and that you just need to be patient. But there’s a difference between being patient for intimacy, and not pursuing the relationship at all.
4. He’s a little too friendly with other women, even when he’s around you.
You’re out with a big group of friends after class and decide to invite him along, but you become uneasy when you feel him being flirtatious with the other ladies in your group. You shake it off and tell yourself you’re paranoid, but his eagerness to spend time with the girls and not with you on your night out is more than unsettling. His laughter, smiling, and sparkly eyes say it all, especially when they aren’t directed at you.
5. He never shows you off, and your interaction is kept under the radar.
If he’s as psyched to be with you as he says he is, he better show it. You’re the most beautiful, kindhearted girl he knows, so why isn’t he telling the world about you? He takes little to no pictures of the two of you when you hang out, and those that he does are kept private. If you’re really as special to him as he makes you feel when you’re together, then a Facebook or Instagram post here or there should be a natural part of the dating process.
At the end of the day, actions speak louder than words. A true player will know how to make you swoon and can talk a good game, but when all is said and done, leaves you in doubt and feeling like you’ve done something wrong. Trust your instincts and listen to your gut. Confront your guy about the way he’s making you feel, and if he can’t be honest about it, still remains distant, or doesn’t try and fix the things that are driving you crazy, then maybe he’s not worth your time after all. And if you find out he has been seeing other women and lying to you about it, go ahead and follow in the steps of Cameron Diaz and Brittany Snow and play the heck out of him too — or just forget about him. After all, you don’t need to stoop to his level.