Sometimes in life we are blessed with great friends. Other times… not so much. Friendships can be a hard thing and they do take a lot of work and effort. It’s hard sometimes to find and make the right friends. Sadly, it seems that toxic friendships are on the rise in today’s society. Here are five signs that might mean you have a toxic friendship (or friendships!).
1. They Constantly Put You Down
This is a tough one and can leave you feeling awful when you are with your so called “friend.” If a friend is putting you down, either with subtle jabs or in a more threatening manor you need to kick them to the curb. “Bye Felicia!” You are perfect just the way you are and if someone cannot see that or make you see that about yourself then they are harming you more than they are helping. A friend should be someone who compliments you and makes you realize just how special you are. If you don’t feel that way around your friends and have a lowered sense of self confidence then you most likely are in a toxic relationship.
2. They are Attention Hogs
Another sign that might point to a toxic friendship is that your friend is all about the attention. They will never let you have a shining moment. And when boys are around, you can forget about getting a word in. You might as well pull up a seat and watch as she flirts the night away. If you are ever offered a great opportunity and want to share the news, she most likely will say something short and move on to something great that happened to her. Once again you just have to sit, listen, and let her dwell on the attention.
3. Mouth Oh Mighty (Gossip)
A toxic friend usually has a mouth of the south. Everyone’s business is her business and, in turn, becomes the world’s business. This is a problem because you don’t want to trust her. You know that she will rant anything and everything to anyone. Most likely if she gossips and trash-talks people a lot, then she is trash talking you.
4. They’re Manipulative
Not only does a toxic friend talk about others, but they use and manipulate others, especially you. They guilt you into doing things and pressure you very subtly. Sometimes it is hard to see at the time, but I guarantee, if you have a toxic friend then you can look back on more than one occasion when she used or manipulated you into something. You will also see where they are manipulating others. For instance, after getting out of a toxic friendship, that so called “friend” manipulated others into hating me. Just remember you are your own person and don’t let a toxic friend make you think otherwise.
5. They Take Advantage of You
Last, but not least, they take advantage of you. You are their shoulder to cry on, their food network, their friend with the best stuff to borrow. About that stuff, you probably won’t get it back. A toxic friend really doesn’t care about you… they care about what you can do for them. If you are too nice they will walk all over you until you have had enough and finally explode.
So ladies, if one or more of these signs sound like a friendship you are in I suggest you stop being victimized and start cutting ties. Being in a toxic friendship can be like being in a bad relationship. If one is dragging the other down, it needs to end. A friendship shouldn’t define you or leave you feeling trapped and depressed. I know from experience! Friends need to be there to build you up and have an equal balance. Tell your toxic friend how you are feeling, if they change, that’s great! If they don’t change or get mad, it’s a sure sign you need to move on. I wish you the best with your friendships and hope they make you feel as special as you are.