Yes, College Park is known as the home of the University of Maryland. But there’s so much more to this lively city that has branded its reputation as that College Park — all of the random, interesting, plain old crazy and ridiculous sh*t that makes you roll your eyes, take a deep sigh and say, “Oh, typical College Park.” Sh*t like this:
Weather Alerts for Natural Disasters that Never Take Place
How can we forget Oct. 13, 2011? The day we all feared for our lives, screaming as we ran for shelter from the disaster that was to invade our campus in only 13 minutes of receiving the news.
For those of us who survived the ordeal, there’s no forgetting what we went through:
Incoming text 6:29 p.m: “A tornado is forecast to strike the campus within the next 13 minutes. Seek shelter immediately.”
Twenty five minutes later as the fear sets in and we feel the urge to tweet…
Incoming text 6:54 p.m: “A tornado is forecast to strike the campus within the next 10 minutes. Seek shelter immediately.”
Eight minutes later while we’re hiding in the basement (or bathtub)…
Incoming Text 7:02 p.m: “A tornado is forecast to strike the campus within the next 3 to 4 minutes. Remain in shelter until advised.”
Fourteen minutes later…we feel like idiots.
Incoming Text 7:16 p.m: “ALL CLEAR for the previous tornado at UMD College Park. Disregard further alerts for the time being.”
Do I need to explain this one any further? For the tweeters, this is an #nuffsaid (and #epicfail) situation.
Two Words: The Cuddler
We know the infamous Cuddler as the guy who enters a woman’s home, sneaks into her bed and assaults her by fondling her body. She then awakes from her sleep, screams and the perpetrator flees. And just maybe, a crappy security camera captures an obscured image of the perpetrator, resulting in his non-capture.
Though it’s a serious matter that we fear will happen again (and it did, just last month), there are times when we can’t help but snicker when we hear about the Cuddler. It’s as if he has become a part of this city. He is to College Park as Freddy Krueger is to that random elementary school no one knows the name of, or Jason Vorhees and Crystal Lake Camp and Michael Myers and Haddonfield, Ill.
Lose a Game, Destroy the Town
“Go! Fight! Win! …Or we riot!” should be the actual cheer we shout at our sporting games. On March 3, 2010, students were enraged as they watched their men’s basketball team lose to its rival, Duke. Afterwards, all hell broke loose. Hundreds of students destroyed public property, some were beaten by police officers and at least 20 of them were arrested.
For the majority of students, if it weren’t for Youtube videos, that night would have been a blur, but every local radio and news station soaked up the newsworthy event and reminded us that we earned our reputation for displaying bad sportsmanship. “Maryland fans don’t have the cleanest record when it comes to post-game celebrations. In fact, they’re downright awful, Grace Harter said, a page editor for Silver Chips Online. “Win or lose, it seems to make no difference; either way, there will be a huge riot.”
(Photo by Rachel Fus/The Gazette)
“Bentley’s or Cornerstone Tonight?”
About a year and a half ago, College Park nightlife provided students with five different bars to choose from. Now, there are only two…or three, if you actually go The Barking Dog. This year’s freshman class are complete strangers to former existence of The Thirsty Turtle, Santa Fe Cafe and Varsity bars.
However, The Thirsty Turtle was the bar that enriched College Park’s classy reputation: citations, brawls, stabbing victims, students taken to the hospital in alcohol-related incidents and of course, an epic fail for an undercover “integrity test,” which investigated the bar’s lenient ID policy.
(Photo by Maryland Newsline’s Tami Le)
Need to Pass an Exam? There’s a Turtle for That
Though our motto is “Fear the turtle,” to us, that translates to “praise the turtle.” During finals week, the fearless Testudo in front of McKeldin library becomes a table of offerings for stressed-out, hopeless students to put their worries to rest. Now, he doesn’t accept just any kind of offering like money, blood or one’s soul. Testudo prefers half-drunken bottles of soda, snacks, cigarettes, Mardi Gras beads, lovely hand-written notes and other pieces of valuable trash. Though, the traditional rubbing on the nose seems to do the trick.
G.T.L : Go Tan on a Lawn
On a gorgeous sunny day, we may walk a little slower to our class or rest under an oak tree on the Mall, but for some, a hint of sun and some fresh cut grass means it’s time to work on the tan. A beautiful day doesn’t pass when you don’t see girls in bikinis and shirtless guys lying on the Mall, on LaPlata Beach, on Frat Row or even on a rooftop to get some color.
Harry Potter Movie is Fiction, but Quidditch is an Actual Sport
Twice a week, you see them on the mall. They run with brooms between their legs and they toss a ball into crooked hula-hoops that are connected to sticks standing in a bucket of sand. It’s the Quidditch team. Though there are more than 200 colleges in the U.S. involved in the International Quidditch Association, Maryland is one of two official teams in the state, John Hopkins being the other.
(Photo by Adam Fried)
Elevators are Death Chambers on the Weekend
Elevators are definitely convenient, but on the weekends, that’s an understatement. Drank too much alcohol and can’t make it to the bathroom or have to puke? Do it in the elevator. The cleaning service people will clean it up on Monday.
Here’s what students had to say when they were asked, “You know you go to Maryland when (blank)”
“You get crime alerts every Friday.” – Eunice Yoon, Jr.
“Route 1 is the only choice you have for social means.” – Regina B., Sr.
“You’re hungry as sh*t between 7 and 9 p.m. because the diner is closed [on the weekend].”
– Mateos Y., Sr.
“Peeping Tom’s in the [girl’s] showers.” – Family Science major Helen Lemma, Sr.
“People walk around with broken umbrellas because the wind is so strong.” – Cultural Anthropology major Sisi Reid, Fr.
“North and South campus are two different worlds.” – Modesta Agbe, Soph.
“Before you open a crime alert, you already know the description of the suspects.”
– Communication major Natasha McClellan, Sr.