A Poem: Body Count

Is heartbreak nothing more than a body count?

People tell me to keep track

Know where I have been

But where I have been seems to be exponential

Heaven forbid one comes back in a way unexpected

Should I stay away from those who stay close?

I want to avoid the daily confrontations

Past mistakes that I could not have predicted 

(Photo by Maru Lombardo on Unsplash)

Can’t you pretend?

Can’t you pretend to like me? 

I’m only mean because I’m hurt

It makes you less charming that way

When I cut your lies with harsh words

That way you won’t try to hurt me again

I suppose you always will in a way

I come back not because I like you

I hate being alone more

 

(Photo by DANNY G on Unsplash)

So should I?

Should I settle for something wrong? 

Just so for a moment I can pretend you are who I wish you to be

But you will never be them

You can’t 

Well you can, 

but you won’t

At least not with me

(Photo by Velizar Ivanov on Unsplash)

But why?

Why not with me?

Am I unlovable?

I’m not going to make you tell me you love me

You invested no more than a day

So how can I even love you by now?

But you won’t give me a chance

Not really…

Yet you wish for me to give you everything I have

What will you do with it? Will you enjoy it?

Does the world expect this?

Do I even want to do this?

What IS this?

Oh, that’s right...

Nothing more than a body count

I forgot

(Photo by Sydney Sims on Unsplash)