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A Guide to the Super Bowl for the Non-Football Fan

If you’re anything like me, February means three things: chocolate, cake, and Super Bowl.

Not that I watch football, no. I mean, casually, if it so happens to be on in the background while I do homework or make dinner. No, the only reason I would watch the Super Bowl is for the commercials, and that’s only when the Puppy Bowl goes to commercial itself.

This year, Super Bowl TV coverage starts at 6:30pm, the game starts at 7, and it goes on for hours—which actually feels like days—after the final point is scored. So, if beer and Super Bowl parties aren’t you’re thing, I’m here to offer you the non-football fan’s guide to the Super Bowl.

For those of you who really aren’t fans and have no idea what’s going on in a few days, here’s the low down.

  • What: 50th Super Bowl
  • Who: Denver Broncos and Carolina Panthers are playing, Coldplay is the halftime show
  • When: February 7, 2016 at 7 pm EST
  • Where: Levi’s Stadium in Santa Clara, CA or on CBS

If you’re too comfortable on the couch, had no plans on moving on a Sunday night, and the remote is in reach, you can instead watch:

  • ABC is airing America’s Funniest Videos starting at 7.
  • NBC is showing the Philadelphia Flyers vs Washington Capitals game at noon. It’s not during the game, but if you feel the need to get your sports fill in something other than football, there you go.
  • For the twelfth year, Animal Planet is showing the Puppy Bowl at 7 *cue happy wails of cute*
  • TBS is showing a New Girl marathon for the duration of the game.

  • Season 1 of Better Call Saul, Stardust, and both live-action Scooby Doo movies are on Netflix. That ought to tie you over for the game.

And if the couch isn’t doing it for you, we live in the nation’s capital, where there is almost always something interesting to do instead. For example, on February 7:

  • Lupe Fiasco is at the 9:30 Club. There are still a few tickets available the last time I checked, so you better act now!
  • Go ice skating at the National Gallery of Art’s Sculpture Garden. It’s not really cold enough, but it still is winter, contrary to popular belief.
  • Catch the tail end of Alexandria’s restaurant week. It’s a little more of a trek, but it’s food that isn’t chicken nuggets, diner food, or beer.
  • Eat all the chocolate at Fairfax’s Chocolate Lovers Festival. Because chocolate.
  • Get your Mardi Gras on a little early. Any bar or restaurant with a TV will almost 100 percent guarantee be showing the game, but put on a few bead necklaces and laissez les bons temps roulez anyway.
junior journalism major with a lot of love for writing
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