article by Freelancer keira hardesty
In the beginning of August my boyfriend left for college at Virginia Tech. A few weeks later I moved to the University of Maryland. With a five hour drive and 225 miles between us our relationship is now officially long distance.
Long distance relationships can have a lot of negative connotations around them, especially when it is two high schoolers entering college. I would constantly see social media posts about how I “would not get the college experience,” if I did long distance. I cannot lie, things like this really terrified me. Nevertheless I have been doing long distance for almost two months now and while it is not always perfect, it is not all bad either. Here are some tips and tricks based on my experience so far.
tip #1: Facetime, facetime, facetime!!!!
While texting and regular phone calls are great, being able to FaceTime my boyfriend has been what gets me through. Being able to see his face and reactions while I talk really helps it feel as if we are having an in-person conversation. Even doing things like screen sharing a show or eating a meal at the same time can help it feel like you are on a date even when you are miles apart.
Building on this, if my boyfriend and I are having an argument, we try to wait until we can video call to talk things through. Hiding behind a screen can cause a lot of things to be misunderstood and can make the fight get even worse. By talking “face to face” we have been able to maturely work out our arguments very similarly to the way we did before.
tip #2: keep reminders of them around
One of my favorite things I have done is decorate my dorm room with things that remind me of my boyfriend. Looking at photos from events like prom and graduation remind me of all the good times we have when we are together and makes the time apart so worth it. Not only do looking at these things make me happy, they also sometimes serve as a reminder to call or text him if I haven’t that day.
tip #3: keep them updated on everything, even the boring stuff
Before we went long distance, I essentially saw my boyfriend all of the time. Our lives were structurally very similar, so it was easy to keep up on what he was doing. Now that we are long distance, I try to keep him updated on what I’m doing throughout the day. Stupid things like telling him what I ate for breakfast help me to feel that we still know just as much about each other’s lives. No matter what it is about, it is always nice to hear from your partner throughout the day.
tip #4: Push each other
It’s very easy to spend your time feeling lonely and sorry for yourself without your partner around. While it is a really hard adjustment for both you and your partner, only seeing the negative can make adjusting to college a lot harder. That’s why it is important to push each other to make the most out of college even if it is without them. When you both try new things like joining a club, making new friends or volunteering you can step out of your comfort zones together.
tip #5: trust is Key
Although trusting someone, especially when you are far away, can be really hard, I definitely think it is important. It can be easy to get jealous of the people around them or doubt the loyalty and love a partner has for you. However, if they are not actually doing anything to show you this expressing these feelings can start unwarranted fights. If I ever have thoughts like these I find it nice to talk to a friend or my mom in order to get an outside perspective. By doing that it’s a lot easier to tell if there’s a real issue or if your emotions are just getting the best of you.
I hope these tips have been helpful to anyone who is also in a long distance relationship. While it is definitely a difficult experience, proper communication between you and your partner can make it so much easier. Remember, distance isn’t permanent and your love for them is what matters most!