Rejection can hurt, but there are always ways to make yourself feel better.
Being rejected hurts. No matter what you are rejected from, it makes you question yourself in new, painful ways. Whether you’re being rejected by a person, internship, job or even an organization. It can create a ripple effect that can bring you down in your regular, day-to-day life. However, it’s important to know that every person goes through rejection and there are ways not just to get through it, but become better because of it.
Why Rejection Hurts
Studies have proved that rejection can be as painful as a real injury. The emotional impact is heavy on your sense of self. Rejection brings about feelings of shame, guilt, sadness, loneliness, embarrassment, and anxiety. Research has shown that it is not actually the rejection that hurts us. Instead, it is the perception of the rejection that hurts our self-worth because humans innately want to feel wanted. As soon as we feel unappreciated or isolated from society in any way we view the situation as though something is wrong with us personally. Self-esteem plummets after rejection and it can feel as though it is impossible to feel wanted again. However, it’s time to take rejection and make the best out of it. Here are four ways to cope with feelings of rejection.
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1. Talk to your friends or family
Friends and family are important support structures in your life, so why not turn to them when the going gets tough? After a rejection, you may be overcome with emotions. Whether you feel sad or angry, it can be cathartic to talk it out. Be sure to go to someone you trust and someone who won’t judge you for your inner feelings. Venting to another person can help you figure out what happened and sort out your thoughts. What went wrong? What can you do to mediate the situation? Leaning on another person’s shoulder can help alleviate some of the pain that is caused by rejection and let that pent up energy out. Just because someone rejected you doesn’t mean you are not accepted by the people who love you. Go seek some support and their advice may help you in the long-run.
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2. Take time for yourself
How do you like to relax? Do you watch Netflix, bake pies or write? Whatever it is, take some time to reflect on yourself and keep yourself mentally healthy. Do things that make you feel better. This can be a wide range of things but can include new hobbies. Maybe start exercising or painting. Taking some time for yourself could even help you find a new interest. It is important to get to know yourself at your most vulnerable moments. However, make sure you don’t suppress your emotions; that’s unhealthier than facing your feelings head-on. The rejection will hurt more and for longer if you convince yourself that it was “no big deal.” If you feel like it’s a big deal inside, then it is a big deal. Take it as it is and understand why you feel that way. Process what you’re feeling then discover how you can handle your negative emotions in a positive manner.
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3. Boost your self-esteem
Whatever situation you are in after you face rejection is not permanent. Therefore, it is vital to remember not to wallow in your pain for too long and remember why you’re awesome. Try writing a list of qualities you like about yourself. What are your accomplishments? What’s your favorite feature? What went well today? Reflect on some happy memories or times where things went a little smoother. Also, don’t forget to remember what you do have going for you. Reflect on what’s going well in your life, like your friends, skills or hobbies. Put things in perspective and tramp down your inner critic — she’s not helping anyone.
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4. Figure out what you learned
No matter how cliche it may be every experience is a learning experience. If you didn’t get the job or internship, can you learn something from applying? Perhaps you can better your interview skills or revamp your resume. If that date didn’t go as planned, maybe you need to learn to be more comfortable in awkward situations, but also maybe they just aren’t the one. Whatever you were rejected from there will always be something to learn. Ask yourself questions like, “What can I do differently next time?” However, don’t forget that rejection is a two-way street. It may have not been your fault. Maybe the other person was having a bad day or the pool of applicants was too large in the organization. Whatever it may be rejection can be a learning experience where you leave a bit stronger than when you came. You can even just learn to love yourself a little more.
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