At Your Own Pace
“Are we moving too fast?” This is an age old question that seems to come up every time someone is starting a new romantic relationship. It’s definitely a question that my friends and I have sat around and analyzed when one of us starts seeing someone new. We all sit around and discuss whether the new couple is getting too serious, too fast or conversely, not getting serious enough, fast enough. Our discussions usually end up with everyone giving their own opinion and the person in the relationship leaving more confused than before. Recently, my friends and I were having one of these discussions and it occurred to me how weird it was.
Since everyone’s definition of “too fast and too serious” is different, all that matters is what the two people in the relationships say. So who cares what anyone else thinks? Now, I am not saying that you should never go to your friends for advice, because you definitely should. Outside perspectives are really important and can help you work through problems and see things that you didn’t see before. The problem comes in, however, when we put too much weight in other people’s opinion of our relationships. If you feel that your relationship is moving at a good pace, then keep on keeping on. If you feel that your friend’s relationship is moving at a really fast pace, only tell them out of genuine concern. Also realize that your definition may not match with theirs and that’s okay.
We all have different paces that we are comfortable with. The timeline for every relationship is different because every relationship is different. There is no rule book when it comes to dating so just do you. If you are currently in a relationship that you feel is moving at the right pace, remember that it’s your relationship.