The Problem with Perfectionism
It’s human nature to be hard on yourself. In fact, we are harder on ourselves than we are on anyone else. We hold ourselves to high standards that are impossible to meet. We expect too much and set ourselves up for failure. What makes it even worse is the pressure society puts on us. We are constantly being pushed to do better and being told that there is no room for error. Young girls are shown that they need to look like the models portrayed in the media and boys believe that they must be athletic and tough. There are certain expectations that are set for us from a young age and we feel we are worthless if we fail to meet them. For example, children are taught to think about going to university since the moment they walk into high school and sometimes even before that. The schooling system puts immense pressure on students to get perfect grades and aims mainly to produce high scores on standardized tests. There was a time when students went to school solely because they enjoyed learning and saw it as a privilege. These days students go to high school because they want to go to college and they go to college because they want a high paying career. Students often take classes that don’t interest them and only retain information they are taught so that they can pass the tests. The joy of education has been replaced with anxiety and an overwhelming feeling of inadequacy. It’s upsetting that we are so intensely caught up in our own fear of failure.
In reality, you are not going to excel at everything, but that’s okay. You do not have to be talented at something to enjoy it and you do not need to excel at everything to be successful. Sometimes trying your best is all that matters. Make time to celebrate your little victories and stop telling yourself that you are not enough. We need to avoid comparing ourselves to others and, more importantly, to our own high expectations. There is nothing wrong with wanting to improve upon your skills and abilities, but it needs to be done in a positive way. You can be motivated without being put down. Perfection is an unhealthily stressful goal. At the end of the day, we need to be kinder to ourselves. Take a deep breath and pat yourself on the back for what you have accomplished so far. Chances are you are doing better than you realize.