More Than a Number
5. 145. 2. 95. 129. 20. 1. 12. 7. 153. 6. 29. 78. 0.
Typing out all these numbers was a very anxiety inducing experience. I worried that someone would figure out what the numbers meant, but then I realized that they are just a series of numbers that have little to no meaning to anyone besides me. Numbers are completely meaningless unless you give them power. If you don’t give them the permission to define you, they are insignificant.
All of our lives, we are measured, assigned a number and then compared to the numbers of other people. Test scores, our body weight and the number of relationships we have had are all numbers that we, as a society, put a lot of weight into. However, we are all so much more than just numbers. We are all people that have unique experiences and viewpoints that cannot be captured by a few numbers.
Perhaps I am just upset because for the last 6 months I have dedicated my life to a single number, 153. 153 is the score that I have to get on the LSAT in order to be accepted into the law school for next year. I have wanted to be a lawyer for as long as I can remember. I worked hard in high school to keep my grades up so that I could go to a good college. I picked a college based on the direct admission program for the law school and I have since been working to keep my grades in college. The law school admissions staff will not know any of this if I do not perform well enough on the LSAT. If I score below a 153, they will quickly dismiss my application.
My frustration over the LSAT made me think of other numbers that I have let have power over me. I came up with the list of numbers above and decided that I will not let myself be defined by numbers anymore. I really encourage you to write your numbers down somewhere. Whether it’s on a piece of paper that you throw away or whether you put it somewhere for the world to see, writing the numbers down and realizing the triviality of them is really therapeutic.