How Learning to Ask for Help Has Changed My Life
Let’s face it: college can be tough. Of course, there are plenty of things to be thankful for. Never again will we be so free to explore new paths, sign up for 46 clubs at O-Fest or pull an all-nighter at Raynor just to say we did. But being a college student comes with unique challenges. I found myself overwhelmed this past week, unable to get into a good schedule and always feeling just one step behind. A combination of my failure to learn good time-management skills and my inability to say “no” culminated in a week from Hell. Most of what could go wrong did go wrong, and I have never been so happy to see a Friday. I know I’m not alone here. I have seen an increasing number of stressed-looking people on campus, and I haven’t seen my best friend in what feels like years. I can only assume that she’s died.
In the midst of this whirlwind of a week, my first instinct was to bear down, keep to myself, and just get through it, come hell or high water. That certainly would’ve been the quicker path. But I did what countless hours of Office of Residence Life training taught me to do: I asked for help. And I didn’t just ask for one person’s help—I built a veritable council of trusted confidants to help me figure out what I wanted to do, how I wanted to proceed.
Being unafraid to be vulnerable to people I care about has changed the way I see my problems. Where before I would lock myself in my room and freak out about how I was going to get everything done on my own, I now realize I don’t have to. Allowing myself to express the stress and fear to a trusted ally (or multiple) has helped to lift an incredible weight off my shoulders. Of course, other people can’t solve your problems—you have to do that for yourself. But outsiders to your situation can provide a valuable perspective that you might not be able to see.
I think that it’s natural to be afraid to ask for help. We don’t want to be a burden to others, and we want to know that we are strong enough to face life’s struggles on our own. I suggest, though, that we as human beings aren’t made to go it alone. There’s a reason that societies always find a way to form, and that you don’t often see people who choose to spend their lives in complete geographic and emotional isolation. Being able to talk through the challenges you’re facing is a powerful tool.
Without the support of my friends and mentors, this week would have been near-impossible. Being unafraid to ask for help, however, led me to the incredible advice of people that I love and trust. Next time a struggle seems insurmountable, I implore you to seek advice from someone who cares for you. You will be glad you did.