Personally, I am not a huge fan of comedians. They are funny, but over time I just get bored. Comedians are always trying to please the audience which just makes it seems like they are trying too hard. But if you are like me, I can change your opinion. I have found the best, relatable, self-deprecating comedian, Matt Bellassai.
Matt Bellassai is a New York comedian. He has a YouTube channel and a podcast where he just rants about all the things he hates. My favorite of his videos is Reasons Fall is the Worst TBH and The Worst Thing About Being the Only Single Friend TBH. These had me literally laughing out loud. I swear my housemates were very concerned because all they heard were cackles coming from my room. When they walked in I was crying because of the sassy, brutally honest jokes. Matt will not shy away from any topic, if it bothers him he will roast it. All of his topics are relevant and super relatable. Who hasn’t wished they could still go into a bounce house or become intimidated by huge bugs? He will get personal, he will get dirty, he will go on tangents just swearing and it is all hilarious. You can tell he is being genuine, yet he will share anything if he knows it can get a laugh.
Some of his lines are:
- While talking about how he hates pineapples on pizza:
“Also, that pineapple could have been someone’s home, how many SpongeBobs had to die just so you could defy a pizza with your sick perverted taste. Now SpongeBob is homeless”
- While talking about how all British kids were raised by nannies who gives drugs with sugar:
“Mary Poppin’s, Mary be poppin something that’s for sure, PILLS”
- Why the UK sucks:
“Also, Adele is British and her entire job is to make me sad”
- Why the UK sucks:
“Also, my wife, Harry Styles is British and he won’t respond to any of my DMs, so I just keep embarrassing myself and digging myself into a deeper hole. I swear I will start another Revolutionary War if he doesn’t respond to my DMs. I will skip right over throwing their tea away and go right for his pants”
- The world’s oldest cheese has been found:
“Let me bake the forbidden cheese into cheese sticks”
- While talking about how white girls are the most powerful in fall:
“Candles are just pet fire. You think you can domesticate fire, no! You think they smell nice and subtle until you leave one on for five minutes and suddenly it smells like a vanilla pumpkin is assaulting your brain nostrils first”
Now, I did filter those quotes the best I could, because, again, he is not a “pure” comedian. Somehow the quotes are even funnier in his voice. His squeaky voice and odd body movements add to the awkwardness of his personality making him even funnier. Everyone has their own quirks, so it is easy to relate to his. I would highly suggest watching a few of his videos especially during finals. It is refreshing to have a good laugh and trust me, Matt Bellassia will provide.