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An Open Letter To Spontaneity

I write to you as I close my weekly planner after filling it with my class schedule, dance, work, and weekend plans. Writing to-do lists, organizing shopping lists, and planning weekend outings down to the minute are embedded in my Type A personality. Writing down each little task allows me to relax and unload my packed schedule from the clutter of my scattered brain. And checking off each lavender box I scribble beside it is? To put it simply, is my natural high. 

While I love my organized planned out lifestyle as it keeps me involved, productive, and feeling accomplished, there is one thing I’m lacking in my life:

“The deafening sound of driving fast with the windows down”, 

“To break rules and do something unexpected”. * 

Pure spontaneity.

 Living in and feeling the moment without even thinking about what is to follow. 

I live by a “three steps ahead” mindset. Checking off my quite tangible lists and always asking “okay, then what?”, “and what are we going to do after that?”, “what comes next?” 

I want to learn to let loose. To go with the flow, To let go and enjoy where I am and what I am doing. Living in the exact moment I am in. 

So dear spontaneity, how do I incorporate you into my life? 

How do I balance checklists and utter “going with the flow”? 

As I pioneer through my college journey, I am learning the importance of taking time to appreciate myself and the moment. And while I quite obviously love my ten-step production I derive each morning, I am also working to understand every day is filled with unexpected moments and new opportunities, as is life. To take advantage of these events, I must become comfortable with straying from the path. 

I strongly believe in the importance of having future goals and aspirations. As I’m sure many of you reading this have dream jobs, cities to leave in, and of course a secret Pinterest board filled with wedding inspiration you began as a super single fifteen-year-old. 

But, what I must come to terms with is that the pathway to get there is not a straight line I thought it would be. Or, the idea that dreams change, goals change, and the future lifestyle I envisioned for myself as a 17-year-old applying for university may be altered by the time I am a 21-year-old senior scanning job offerings.

Spontaneity, I reach out to you to ask for your hand in showing me how to enjoy the life I am living. To not be afraid to change, to grow, and to reach new conclusions. 

 *lyrics from “Freedom”, written by Brian Lowdermilk and Kait Kerrigan for the musical The Unauthorized Autobiography of Samantha Brown