Thanksgiving is right around the corner and that means roast turkey, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, your mom’s homemade stuffing, warm rolls, pumpkin pie, apple pie, pecan pie (well really all the pieces) … oh and getting ABSOLUTELY INTERROGATED by your relatives about your love life.
Thanksgiving used to be my favorite holiday. I mean, what’s not to love, right? The whole family’s together, you’re eating and eating and eating until you can’t feel your limbs (what I assume to be everybody’s favorite past time), there’s football on, and the Macy’s day parade (seriously the parade could be a holiday all on it’s own and it would still be my favorite). But then as I got older, my weird old aunts and uncles, the ones that I only ever hear from on my birthday when they send me a 99 cent card in the mail, decide to completely rip apart my life.
If you’ve ever experienced this, then you’re most definitely dreading Thanksgiving dinner as much as I am. Here are the 10 questions your relatives are sure to ask you this year:
1. Do you have a boyfriend?
2. Why not?
3. How’s your roommate? Do you get along?
4. How are your grades this semester?
5. Are you staying out of trouble?
6. What’s your major again?
7. What are you going to do with that?
8. What ever happened to [insert ex-boyfriend or ex-best-friend’s name here]
9. You’re still going to church every week right?
10. Can you help me with this new computer program? *Hands you iPhone*
Brace yourselves, this holiday season is going to hit us harder than we may have thought. I don’t know about you all, but I’m going to start practicing my fake smile and my pre-rehearsed answers to all of these questions ASAP.
Just remember: if all else fails, start stuffing your face with food. They’ll assume you’re super hungry after living off of the dining hall for months on end, and leave you alone.
Happy Thanksgiving, y’all!