There are days when my vision is so clear that I have no fears that the land that I dream will be where I dwell. One day, someday, but those are the days I crave for often, I bask in the glory of those days. There are days when I awake, and the world is a grey monochrome like I’ve been pulled back into a black and white movie of the 50s. The only difference is that living this monochromatic life isn’t as aesthetic as it seems on Instagram. Those are the days where getting out of bed is hard. When the dark circles under your eyes carry the weight of the concerns that run wild in your mind, every inch of your body aches, but you still must go on with your day. But it’s like they say, without the ups-and-downs, life would be equivalent to death.
In a world that thrives on the need to accumulate accolades and achieve a lot in a minute time frame, it isn’t surprising that fear is a common factor that connects this generation. “The fear of not doing well, the fear of not living up to expectations, the fear of living the way you want.” We live in a world that is just black and white, a world that categorises the way we live and the things we do. We are welcomed into a world where freedom is a catchphrase, an illusion. We live in a world that prioritises control and similarity, over change and originality. If that doesn’t create fear and complexes of all kinds, then I don’t know what can.
Fear is just another four-lettered word, but it has so much power. A power that we unintentionally give away to it. Fear isn’t just a word, it’s a phenomenon. One that can fog your vision, twist, and turn your insides till you become breathless. One that can make your hands shiver and knees tremble, and make all that is right seem wrong. It can make your reflection seem wrong; it can shadow the light that you nurture. It takes away the freedom of thought, of expression. How many times have we avoided a situation because of fear? Fear of judgement, rejection, and being talked about. We prioritise avoiding that fear over its eradication. That’s where we lose our freedom. Our franchise to make the choices that make us alive add that fire to our souls, and a calming hum to our spirit. Fear weighs you down, adds heaviness to your chest. It cages freedom and brings along pain.
I live in a world that has a vision for monochrome, but I want to live life in colour, fresh and bright, sometimes grey and solemn. I want the whole spectrum on the back of my hands. I want to be able to spread my arms out and feel the cold, fresh air of the early morning take my breath away. I want to, without any consequences, run with the wind, listen to songs that it hears and sing with it. Now I know life isn’t a music video as much as I wish it were, but the reality is still this: fear outweighs our desire to be free. It is also true that it takes a whole lot of courage and a lot more kindness to be free in a world where freedom has limited connotations. The battle between fear and freedom is constant. It’s a battle that we can’t ignore. So, don’t ignore the fight. The fight ends when freedom has won; if it hasn’t, you’ve got more to give.