I know, I know – in our society, “I love being single” sounds like a lie you tell your therapist, hoping that they’ll see past the pain, but there are those of us who genuinely enjoy it! Here’s my dating history in two sentences: my first boyfriend and I were together for about two years and we broke up almost four years ago. My second boyfriend and I started dating eight months ago and broke up a few weeks ago– the sweet release. People keep asking me if I’m okay, and the truth is, I’m better than okay! I genuinely love being single, and here’s why.
Independence
In a relationship, people tend to rely on the other person, at least to some extent. While it’s not a bad thing to have someone you can depend on, being single can force you to figure things out on your own, and that teaches you a lot more.
Time
Relationships take up way too much time: time with them, time texting and calling them, time thinking about them – all time that could be spent doing something else like learning a new instrument, exploring the city, being with friends, working on assignments, and planning your future.
Friendships are different
Not for all, but for many, being in a relationship changes your dynamic and closeness with many friends. You see them less because you’re with your significant other, and you probably spend a lot of time talking about your significant other. Most people stay close with a few friends and seem to fade from the bigger friend group. While a few friends might be all you need, always make sure you’re never isolating yourself! Or just be single and you won’t have to worry about it.
No one to accidentally hurt your feelings
Dumb fights happen, and they take up so much energy. You don’t have to worry about wasting energy and emotions on fights if you have no one to argue with!
No one telling you what to do (not that I would listen)
My old boyfriend told me what to do. Once. Whenever I hear someone say, “my boyfriend told me I’m not allowed to–” I cut them off right there and tell them that said boyfriend has absolutely no say in their decisions.
Freedom to explore dating
Dating is so fun and exciting! Especially when you’re our age, there are so many people to date and so many things to learn from things gone wrong. If you don’t date now, you’ll never know what’s out there. Don’t let yourself get stuck in a relationship for years just because it’s comfortable!
Freedom to explore sex and sexuality.
If you’re in or have been in college, you know what’s up.
Note: Use protection.
Don’t need to count them into your future plans/no pressure to marry
I have big plans– I might not know exactly how to get to them, but I’ll get there. And having someone to weigh down my plans and potentially hold back my career to make room for them is absolutely not a part of the plan.
Being in love is a lot of mental energy
Need I say more?
Getting to know yourself better
I love spending time with me. As much of a social butterfly as I am, it feels great to awaken a new part of myself on my own time and terms. It’s fun for me to hang out with me, and it should be fun for you to hang out with you too! Nothing has felt better than when I traveled by myself, Eat, Pray, Love style, but the only “love” I had was for myself and for the world around me. Cheesy, I know, but true.
So the next time you’re feeling lonely or think you should get into a relationship, ask yourself if you really want to be with someone or if you’d be happier on your own! I think you know which one I’d say.