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5 Signs You’re In a Toxic Relationship With Your Best Friend

Not every friendship we encounter is a good one. We all meet a Regina George at one point in our lives. She is that friend that you’re constantly fighting or are at odds with and kind of makes you feel like you’re caught in an episode of Pretty Little Liars. Don’t ignore the signs.

1. She always needs you for something. It’s not bad thing to hang out with your best friend a lot. It almost seems like they’re the one that you do everything with. And that’s perfectly fine. However, friends know when to give each other a little space. A friend that is too needy is a problem. If your friend really can’t seem to go anywhere or do anything without you right there by herself you might not be her friend but her crutch. She’ll call you and expect you to accompany her everywhere she goes. However when you really need her you can most definitely expect a lame excuse.

2. Spending time with them only makes you feel bad about yourself. We all tease our friends about stupid little things. But there’s a line between teasing someone and being downright vicious. Toxic friends will put you down and make you feel less than you are both privately and publicly. Although you convince yourself that they probably don’t actually mean what they say, you can’t deny that their words hurt.   

3. If you’re more relived when she leaves versus when comes over. This is a pretty obvious sign that there is something wrong. Sometimes you have to ignore their calls and texts because you’ve just had too much for one day. Toxic friends often cause extra stress and are not very pleasant to be around because of how abusive they are.  

4. If you start to not trust them with information. I tell my best friend everything. She is my most trusted confidant. Everything I tell her I know she will take to the grave with her. You shouldn’t feel like you have to keep secrets from them because you’re worried they won’t keep it to themselves.

5. You shouldn’t have to compete with them. Healthy competition is good. It makes us better at the things we do. But if you’re best friend is constantly trying to one-up you, she’s really acting more like your rival than your best friend. And God forbid you ever have a class together. She’ll either get a better grade than you and never let you hear the end of it or she’ll be supper pissed that you did better than her.

Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “The only way to have a friend is to be one”. Throughout our lives we will have numerous friendships. But as we grow older and wiser, there are some friendships that we need to learn to let go of and move on from. You should never have to subject yourself to the abuse of someone you call a “friend”. 

My name is Kiersten Buelow, I am a Sophomore at Manhattan College. I am swimmer for the Manhattan Jaspers and a journalism major with a minor in digital media.
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