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10 Stages of a Jasper Pre-Game

Jaspers know how to pre-game. Half our night is the pre-game. The other half is spent either on the subway going downtown or trying to to get thrown out of Riv. We take our pre-games very, very seriously. We’re just trying to make Brother Jasper proud.


1. Hop on your hoverboard

It is the quickest and easiest way to get up all these hills

2. Glide on over to Jasper Deli and try to find your drink of choice

Are you feelin platinums tonight? Or are you thinking 4Loko? Are you trying to be low key, or dancing on top of one of the booths?

3. Say Hi to Pickles 

Who, to be honest, wants none of your shit.

4. Make your way back to your room, and try to sneak in your new purchase


Nah, that black plastic bag is not too sketchy…. 

5. Play “What do you mean”

TBH you’re probably gunna play it more than once

6. Decide where you’re going that night

Riv, Fens or An Beal?

7. Question yourself if you would rather just go back to J-Del and get a Fat Bitch

You know you’re gunna end up there any way… might as well skip the hot, crowded and noisy middle part.

8. Remind yourself that you HAVE to go out tonight. 

That’s when youre second burst of energy comes

9. Finish your drinks 

Who cares if the Uber is here? You need some liquid courage to talk to that cute kid from Finance class.

10. Metro Card, Real ID, Fake ID, School ID?

Check, check, check and check. 


But no matter how you pre-game Jaspers, just remember to have fun, and be safe.


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Abby Welte


Manhattan College student majoring in Communication and an Intern for the New Jersey Devils. I'm not legally allowed to play board games in at least 9 states, enjoy long walks on a short pier, trying anything with frosting on it and yelling at my TV when hockey is on.
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