Everybody says that your time at university are the best years of your life. The degree itself can almost be considered a minor pastime to the main attraction – partying. You’re expected to drink, go out all the time and constantly be busy socialising and having the time of your life. But in all honesty, that isn’t always the reality of it and that’s okay.
First year goes hand in hand with the myth that it’s the best year of your life. Every night should be spend at a different club and 9am lectures were made to be missed. There’s an expectation that you instantly click with your flatmates and become an active member of multiple societies. It sounds like an ideal world, but with expectations so high, your actual experience can easily fall short.
The transition from A levels to degree level is a difficult one, especially when you’re also undergoing a complete change of environment. Moving from a small town to a big city can be a massive culture shock and moving into halls, you suddenly find yourself surrounded by a bunch of people you’ve never met before. It can be a lot of fun, but it’s understandable to need some time to yourself.
Sometimes, it may feel like the people you meet at university just don’t match your friends from home. That’s completely normal. After spending years strengthening the bonds with your childhood friends, it’s only natural that you might not find exactly where you fit in within your first few months – or even a year – at university.
To some people finding their place comes naturally, but to many, socialising can be difficult. Going into lectures and seminars you may find that people already have already found their friendship groups making it hard to find the chance to talk to them. Seeing established groups of friends when you’re alone can make you feel both intimidated and isolated. This is by no means uncommon.
So, don’t feel like a failure if you’re struggling to make friends or don’t feel like you want to go out every night. It’s perfectly fine to be alone. Even if you get along well with your flatmates, try to find a new society to join or group of friends to spend time with. It’s healthy to have your own interests and the best way to find where you truly belong.
And finally, never value your own fresher’s experience upon that of somebody else. Everyone’s journey at university is unique and other people’s grades, or friendship groups or Instagram posts from a night out shouldn’t be the standard by which you measure your own achievements. Things aren’t always what they seem and none of us are 100% sure what we’re doing. We’re all just figuring things out as we go.