Choosing to commit to ourselves can be the best thing some days.
We’re consistently committing too many things daily in our lives. From that “yes” to a friend to run errands with them even though that was not the best time for us to go, to that event scheduled five months in advance. We have all been there. Are we way too nice agreeing to do things we’re not willing to do?
Writing and talking about self-care is always challenging because it looks different for everyone. Self-care is not a formula or a one-day practice. It is more than doing a nighttime face mask, lighting up that candle you got as a gift three years ago and never used, or even taking time to be in silence with yourself. Self-care is a combination of all practices alike that also involve other people who are part of our routine. Our relationships and their tone also set our daily lives inclined towards our self-care or the care of others.
Thinking about all that, I realize that maybe taking another direction towards self-care can be the best option somedays when feeling very overwhelmed and trying to reach everyone’s expectations about ourselves. That’s why a no-commitment mood may be the new self-care to most of us.
I recently browsed through Disney Plus, and I started thinking about the classic movies we usually watch when we are kids and how it influences our “commitment” decisions. Then a thought hit me.
What if Cinderella did not wait for her shoe to find its way back to her? What if she had said to the prince to “keep” it? What would her life be?
A no-commitment mood is restricted to not committing to a new relationship at a higher level and lowering down other commitments we make daily. Think about it: we’re constantly agreeing to do things and committing our time to those things that, in the end, may not really be what we wanted to do. And why do we do that? To satisfy someone else, but we end up sacrificing our own time for ourselves.
With that being said, a no-commitment mood is to choose to not commit your time in advance. It is about to go with the “flow” and occasionally let life take the wheel for us. Don’t plan every day of next weekend. Don’t keep waiting for that text, that email. Take the holiday season to enjoy the present moment and do things when you feel like doing them. But self-care is not only occasionally. For example, instead of agreeing to meet your friends on Friday night on a Monday morning, wait until Friday afternoon to decide if you are up to that after a long week. I know this can be quite a challenge for some planners out there, but sometimes letting loose on decisions like this can bring great must-needed relaxation to your life.
The same goes for when you are meeting someone new that can become a new partner. We are so often under pressure and rush to meet “the one” that we forget that sometimes people are there to spend some time with us. Even if it is not forever, why not enjoy it while it is still happening? It is about not committing to that perfect scenario we create in our minds.
We’re in the constant search for permanent things, permanent decisions, and all of that brings the pressure on ourselves to make it work, make it happen. In reality, we’re missing opportunities to spend time with people in the same vibe as we are on that day to look for something we feel like we need to do.
It is not about being that “last-minute” friend or that irritating partner that causes issues in the relationship. That is not the approach of this self-care practice. It is simply to take some weight off our shoulders and from the situation itself. Take a step outside that scenario, see from far and identify what could be done more lightly.
It is okay if those workout sessions did not happen for an entire month or your current crush doesn’t text you daily. This can mean a good thing, a sign that maybe you are taking things too seriously when you should relax and let life take its course in the direction it needs to. Stop waiting for the perfect moment to happen and create it yourself. That is something that I learned a lot while writing my book Brand You.
No-commitment days can be a detox from situations that you often feel trapped in. We often self-sabotage many things in our lives, but only if we let them happen. Take control, be aware, and be conscious of it. That is the first step into a more self-care practice routine where you do not need to set aside a specific time to complete your night routine to feel good the next day.
The only commitment we should make is to always put ourselves first in situations and realize that saying no sometimes can lead to more extraordinary things than that yes not meant to be said. Don’t rush things or force what is not supposed to happen. Take the hints, read the signs, and accept them as they come. Commit to that practice: to feel good about yourself allows the most incredible things to come your way. Understand each lesson life teaches you and see how it leads you to where you aim to be. I’m sure you’ll see it soon.
We are precisely where we are supposed to be.
After all, letting life and fate take control while we enjoy the ride is the best self-care practice this no-commitment mood can bring to us.