Living Unapologetically Myself: Marching to The Beat of My Own Drum

I have always been a little different in terms of not following society. I constantly wanted to do things my way growing up. As I have gotten older, this part of my personality has only become stronger and incorporated into my life more. Growing up, I could never stick in a glued group of friends with minds that thought so alike. I would be friends with people all so unlike each other. Not the most popular or seen as weird, but to me, they were terrific people to be around. I did not like cow milk, so while everyone drank chocolate milk, I would drink juice. While all the girls would walk around and talk at recess, I would play soccer with the boys. When freshman year of high school started, and people began drinking, I did not. This was just another “I will do things my way” attitude. When people began judging how I was living my life is when I became passionate about my choices. 

Society Norms 

From as young as fourteen and fifteen years old, when freshman year of high school begins, people start drinking; it’s almost as if it’s an automatic no-brainer to start drinking. People follow the crowds; they drink because their friends drink; they drink because they want to have fun and want to let loose. I was never one of these people. I did not want to drink, and people looked at me differently. I still see myself as an energetic, the fun outgoing kind girl who could have fun without any alcohol. Kids slowly changed their version of fun to drinking. Drinking so much getting blacked out with friends was not something I saw as fun. I would instead go shopping and see a movie on the weekend. Many teen’s only version of fun was drinking, and that was when I realized I didn’t fit into many people’s lifestyles my age. I wanted to feel accepted no matter what I chose to do, and it seemed like I always had to give reasons why I did not drink. There are personal reasons, but the biggest reason people should learn to accept is that I have no desire and I do not want to.  

No Explanations Needed  

I constantly had comments thrown out at me in high school like “I would pay to see you drunk,” which I would never really respond to, not wanting to cause any unnecessary conversations that could escalate into something more. I had felt the need to explain myself when people asked me. At a certain point, I have felt as I have gotten older that there is no right or wrong way in how people live their lives, and there shouldn’t have to be an expected explanation for every decision someone makes, big or small. There should not be gasps when people find out I have never drank alcohol just because I do not match what the majority of society does. I have always felt annoyed when people would constantly be shocked finding out I don’t drink. That proves how much alcohol is integrated into society that a drink can determine such judgment of another person. I have had friendships die down because of this. 

Relatable No More 

I have friends who have become so much into the party scene and heavy drinking that our versions of fun were not relatable anymore. It was a struggle for a while to accept change, but I am proud that I never felt pressured to fit in. While many people, including my family, thought my desire not to drink was just a phase, I knew it was never a phase. With my sister and brother drinking on vacations, I was always the oddball out. After my freshman year of college, my family knew there was no phase, and I wouldn’t change my ways for anyone.  

My Love  

I have never really felt like I could relate to someone completely since my teen years. Some truly amazing friends have stuck by my side and have not judged me, but I always felt a bit out of place. This all changed when I met my now boyfriend, Jakob. I finally could be around someone with a similar lifestyle and a deep understanding and acceptance of who I was, and vice-versa.  Jakob was not into drinking and has always been open to having various people in his life, like me. We go on such fun adventures and enjoy life! I will forever be grateful for him.

Accept Me As I Accept You 

I am sharing this part of my life because there is no reason I should be quiet about my views of drinking. There should not be surprised faces, nasty comments, and constant questions when people find out I have never drank alcohol. I am done with the stigma that all people drink, and it’s normal. All people do not drink, and maybe it’s considered normal because society has made it that way and has pressured people to drink from a young age turning it into “normal.”  

​

My message to others: Nobody should ever change their beliefs or how they want to live their lives to fit into society. There should be no questioning or ridiculous comments just because someone chooses to use their time differently; if so, it’s okay to stand up for yourself, sometimes sitting back is not the answer. Live your life the way you truly want to live it.