Do you ever hear people mention “love languages” in conversations and wonder what this concept means? Dr. Gary Chapman, an author and counselor, coined the term in his 1992 book called The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts. According to Chapman, love languages influence how people express and receive love based on their personalities. During my freshman year of college, I took a love language quiz and was immediately fascinated by the idea. Here’s a guide to the different love languages and how they affect your relationships with others.
If you look forward to going meaningful adventures or planning a romantic date, this love language suits you well! Those who cherish quality time want people to be fully present during their interactions. People with this primary love language enjoy deep conversations and trying new activities with friends. In particular, they may become insulted when someone focuses on their phone. They want to live in the moment and make the most of their time with people.
Words of Affirmation
If you love getting encouraging words and offering compliments, words of affirmation may be your love language. I usually get words of affirmation in my results when I take a love language quiz! I love writing letters to tell people how much they mean to me. I also like giving pep talks whether it’s in person or over text. Because of these feelings, this group may find criticism especially hurtful. They feel happiest hearing genuine and sincere words.
This love language is often misunderstood for being materialistic, but it goes beyond the surface. You may cherish a thoughtful present with connections to past travels, hobbies, childhood memories, and other experiences. Meanwhile, picking out gifts for people no matter the occasion is also important. People with this primary love language make anniversaries and birthdays a priority. If their loved ones forget these dates, they may feel upset.
If you prefer affection through physical touch, then this may be your love language. Those with physical touch love when their partner holds their hand, plays with their hair, sits close, etc. When they seem down, a hug would make all the difference! Whether they’re having a good or a bad day, they feel loved when someone acknowledges their presence in the room. They feel lonely when people forget to give a goodbye kiss or hug.
Acts of Service
Acts of service is all about showing people you care about them and vice versa. For example, you may perform kind gestures. like cooking dinner for someone. According to Psychology Today, they’re touched when someone helps reduce their stress by running an errand or taking a chore off their hands. If acts of service is your primary love language, you want to feel appreciated through deeds over words!
By understanding your love language and that of others, you can develop stronger relationships and communication. Of course, you may see yourself fitting multiple love languages. Personally, I think quality time applies to my behavior too. Curious about your own love language? Take an official quiz to find out!