I’m not against country music. But I’m also not entirely for country music.
It’s one of those things that people are pretty passionate about, like The Cuteness Of Their Child or Politics. I, on the other hand, like a good hoedown throwdown. But there are times I’m pretty anti-twang.
Anyway, here’s my top southern songs. Yee, and I cannot stress this enough, haw.
- The Gambler // Kenny Rodgers
This song makes me feel all of the things–and it also gives good life advice. Know when to walk away. Know when to run. If you’re lucky, somewhere in the darkness, YOU can break even too! Or you’ll get creepily approached on the red line. With your free Loyola transportation pass. (Am I even allowed to legally say this? Moving on.)
- Ring of Fire // Johnny Cash
To be entirely honest, I’m not really sure if this song fits into the country genre. I think it does? But what if? It’s just? About how much love sucks? Like how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie-pop: the world may never know.
- If You’re Gonna Play in Texas (You Gotta Have a Fiddle in the Band) // Alabama
If anyone from Texas is reading this, PLEASE email me. We have much to discuss. Like…how scary are snakes actually, and is this fiddle thing actually a rule? If yes, what are the other state requirements? Asking for a friend. I just want to know.
- Remember When // Alan Jackson
Excuse me while I sob.
- Die a Happy Man // Thomas Rhett
In a ~drastic change~ of emotion, here’s another love song! If my future husband happens to be reading this, I just want to know…WHY YOU DIDN’T WRITE ME A SONG?? SERIOUSLY? The audacity. Anyway.
- That’s How Country Boys Roll // Billy Currington
I realize that this article has become my own personal Reddit question inquiry. But seriously, is this how country boys roll? I JUST WANT ANSWERS. WHY ARE THERE NO ANSWERS.
- A Girl Like You // Easton Corbin
The Cha Cha Slide: -outdated -confusing directions -overplayed -tells you what to do
This song: -fresh -kinda romantic?? -clear message of simply wanting sex -written by an attractive cowboy.
- Wagon Wheel // Darious Rucker
This man has so much swag it physically hurts me. His voice is angelic. His yee is perfectly hawed. He even got down the coast in 17 hours?? Like??? Ride ME like a wagon wheel, Darious. (Y’all better not show my mom this.)
- She Thinks My Tractor’s Sexy // Kenny Chesney
I have seen tractors in only three specific environments in my entire twenty years. The first is my southern Illinoisan Grandma Mason’s backyard. And my grandpa was on it. The second is I-64. Is that even allowed? The third is random suburban Chicago streets. So I’m not entirely sure what his lady was going through if she thinks his tractor is…sexy..? Another question, I know, but seriously–can someone confirm if she is okay?
- Take Me Home, Country Roads // John Denver
You didn’t hear this from me, but there is a certain college out in a certain Indianian cornfield with a certain fraternity brother who mixes his rap bangers and country hits in one combined (and I quote) “playlit.” Cheers to you, Mysterious Fraternity Cowboy. I admire your cleanup song choice. (Also—mom says I’m her favorite.)
- Truck Yeah // Tim McGraw