A strange thing happened to me recently. I was sipping coffee in a new coffee shop when a person I recognized smiled at me as they passed by. She looked familiar, but I could not put my finger on how I knew her. As she smiled at me, I was imagining her sitting next to me chatting as “old friends” do. I whipped through my memories and realized I did not know her at all – I had just seen her on social media.
The extent to which social media—and the exposure it relies on—had planted itself into my subconscious mind without me even realizing it. But, it shouldn’t have surprised me.
The truth of the matter is that as Millennials, we are all hyper-connected in a way that causes us to exist in multiple realities. That is, to be present within and without one’s own experiences. We see what others do while simultaneously living our own lives in a way that maximizes shareability.
Whether people are willing to admit it or not, we all live in a world of constant posting. Using social media allows us to seek opportunities and to tell our stories by producing content that then becomes a part of our daily realities. As a society, we have torn down the wall between private and public and have allowed ourselves to be subjected to constant surveillance. We constantly ask:
Does this look too edited?
How many likes or views can I get?
Every post, whether we admit it or not, is a way to connect with people without having to inconvenience ourselves by moving from the comfort of our own home. While many people my age laugh about our “personal brands” — the exciting, commercial version of ourselves—these brands are fundamentally how we show ourselves to the world.
But being online everyday and the pressures to keep up appearances that come from comparing ourselves to that of people who make a living off their perfect Instagram aesthetics and polished personas, is draining. And it isn’t just me who feels this way.
A 2017 study done by Harvard Graduate School of education linked depression and suicidal thoughts to young people who spend multiple hours a day using screens. Although it is said that many of these stressors and anxieties are normal among young people, teenagers especially, social media can make them worse.
Many experts of the same study have also reported a rise in sleeplessness, loneliness, worry and dependence, especially in females, that coincides with the release of the first iPhone 10 years ago.
Carmen Papaluca, a researcher at the University of Notre Dame Australia, focused her doctoral studies on the impacts Instagram can have on the wellbeing of women between the ages of 18 and 25. What once started as just comparing appearances has turned into so much more.
“So many were saying they want other girls’ lives and they want to be them,” Papaluca said. “So it’s really gone past just wanting to look like somebody — now it’s about having their life, having what they have. That’s a whole new challenge.”
This is not an attack on people who have made a living off their personal online brand. I am also not saying we should all move to rural Montana and get a flip phone. But for my contemporary high-strung, cognizant millennials who continuously scroll through this sea of polished personas we have created, something has got to give.
If social media has become more of a source of stress in our lives than education, entertainment and community, it may be time to rethink its purpose.
Maybe it’s time to ask ourselves: When did social media start to define our lives?