Your silent cries and hollow eyes are no match for your soul. Because, darling, that fire inside of you cannot be extinguished with the words they use as weapons and the names they use as labels.
We cannot comprehend why they are not equipped to amend. So we empty ourselves. We blame ourselves. We grow up hating ourselves.
And darling, let me tell you. They will never understand.
They will never understand that their slurs hurt more than sticks and stones. They will never understand that their fists leave more than just bruises. They will never understand that the tears we cry don’t wash away the pain.
Darling. I want to tell you that you don’t have to like yourself–but you do have to love yourself.
You may walk on eggshells, but don’t let them walk on you.
Because they will never understand how strong you are. Only you will know the extent of your bravery.
And that’s okay.
Because one day you will wake up. You will look in the mirror and you will see an adult staring back at you. Then, and only then, will you realize how far you have come.
Despite your misguided thoughts that wanted you to quit. Despite the relentless bullies that wanted you to spit back. Despite the well-meaning teachers that mumbled the soundtrack of “kids will be kids” on repeat.
Netflix shows and common culture romanticize and stigmatize so they don’t have to normalize. Because we don’t want to acknowledge the impact. We ignore the pain. But we cannot heal when we do not expose the broken pieces of ourselves.
Darling. I know these old attacks hurt us long after the impact. But you are more than your hurt. You are more than your pain.
When I was a kid, I wanted to be famous. When I was in grammar school, I wanted to be a professional soccer player. When I was in middle school, I wanted to be invisible. When I was a sophomore in high school, I wanted to be dead. When I was a freshman in college, I almost died.
Child, I’ve been there. So I won’t just say “it gets better.” Because better does not even describe the extent to which you will shine.
You will find love. You will get stronger. You will make friends. You will accept help.
And sure, there will be bad days. But there will also be good days. There will be first dates and good grades and soft puppies and hot chocolate and bright city lights.
One day, you will look back on your life, and you will have no reason to not smile. Because not only did you overcome–you became.
(Also–I highly recommend listening to the powerful video To This Day.)