There are many that say dating your opposite means introducing a world of problems and debate over wild differences while others say that opposition encourages compromise and change. I’m on the side that believes dating your opposite personality is the best recipe for a successful relationship. Mainly, I’m an advocate for this concept because I, myself, have been dating my complete opposite for over the past four years.
To start, I would describe my boyfriend as the most extroverted, confident, stubborn, and lively person I have ever known. His energy is the kind that feeds the room at any occasion, regardless if he knows anyone there or not. If someone told me years before dating that him and I would be the best counterparts for one another, I wouldn’t be able to fathom it. Then, there’s me. I would best describe myself as the person who is gleeful when plans get cancelled- I’m terrible at socialization, very organized yet I second guess my decisions constantly.
Photo by Alice Donovan Rouse on Unsplash
So how do we make it work? How do our arguments ever end or how do we choose where to get dinner if our brains are wired on completely separate circuits? First off, our differences don’t make our choice on where to get food any easier. However, the key to our relationship is how his confidence and brazenness complements my carefulness and compassion. For example, when we attend parties and I try my best to navigate conversations, he knows exactly how to make me feel included enough to my comfortability due to his understanding of how I freak in social events. Meanwhile, if he’s frustrated with someone and wants to say something, I encourage him to take a less confrontational route with the issue rather than immediately taking it on boldly.
I think dating someone who is extremely unlike you is beneficial in the sense that the other person grounds you in other ways you can’t do for yourself. Your significant other could bring out a whole new side of you that would’ve remained hidden without their help. Of course there are certainly big problems that come with sharing your life with someone who isn’t like you. Arguments are bound to occur, whether they’re little or they’re beyond frustrating where the opposite natures of your relationship prove to be a burden. However, I think that in most relationships like these, it’s healthy to look at other perspectives and to escape your own headspace once in a while. If you were to be with someone who thinks and acts just like yourself, there would be no room to grow.
Photo by Pablo Heimplatz on Unsplash
Since dating my boyfriend, I have matured in so many aspects of my personality and beliefs. Before him, I was a very shy and closed off person who was scared of getting out of my comfort zone. Now, I feel more empowered to take on my anxiety or my fears in a more confident manner while his compassion and gentleness has grown significantly. I feel grateful for the positive impact he’s made on me to become the strong woman I am today and I’m proud to have been able to contribute towards him being the man he is now.
Maybe next time you’re looking for a date, try going out with someone who is unlike what you’d expect or go for. They might surprise and complement you in the best ways.