Many people think that long distance relationships are not worth it. Many high school sweethearts end up breaking up in college when the distance between them becomes too much to handle. Many families and friends even discourage those in long distance relationships.
Yes, long distance is hard. It can be lonely and sad. However, with true love and commitment, the old saying by poet Thomas Haynes Bayly is true. “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.”
Here are 6 tips to make your long distance relationship work:
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Trust
No doubt about it, trust is the most important thing in a long distance relationship. It’s okay if your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to go out to parties, bars, friends houses, study groups, and several other social activities. With trust as the foundation of the relationship, there is no reason for concern. You should be confident in trusting them to not do anything you wouldn’t do, and they should trust you to do the same.
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Honesty
Don’t feel like you have to keep any feelings bottled up. It is healthy to talk about your feelings, whether it be jealousy, insecurity, anxiety, fear, apathy, loneliness, etc. All of those emotions are valid and important and you should lay them out on the table. Be open and transparent with one another. Be there to support them in times where the distant may be getting to them and they may need a little extra attention and love.
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Space
College is a place for relationship building, networking, and personal growth. You don’t need to ask your boyfriend or girlfriend to update you on their location at all times or tell you what they are doing every hour. Allow time apart! Appreciate it! You do not need to put your lives on hold for each other. Let them branch out and meet new people by getting involved with organizations and groups on campus!
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Celebrate the Little Things
Asking about the little things that made them happy during their day or their week makes them feel loved, appreciated, and valued. Take the time to congratulate one another on good exam grades, positions of leadership within extracurriculars, successful presentations or speeches, creative improv in their acting class, and so on.
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Share your College Experience
It is so fun to share the moment with each other! They will feel included in your day to day activities. Did you cook a healthy meal? Take a picture of your new dish and send it their way! Did you find a cute outfit at the mall? Don’t be selfish, send them a cute pic from the dressing room! Just won your intramural basketball game? Snap a pic with your team and let them share your excitement! Allowing them to see into your life through your eyes is a great way to keep life fresh and interesting!
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Maintain Intimacy
It can be very difficult to go from seeing each other all the time to seeing each other maybe once a month. You will miss the touch of your partner, whether it be holding their hand, sharing sweet kisses, or having sex. When you move away from each other, it is normal to crave that physical intimacy. However, you don’t have to say goodbye to the sexual spark in your relationship. Talk to your partner and decide what works best for you and your relationship. Don’t be shy with your intimate thoughts. Some people are content with saving those thoughts until you can visit and see each other in person. However, some couples may need intimate discussions during phone sex or skype sessions. While your roommates are out at a bar or staying elsewhere, don’t be afraid to take advantage of your alone time.