How to Tell the Difference Between Real and Fake Friends

Sometimes it’s hard to tell who your real friends are at certain times of your life. I think we’ve all been confused a time or two in this area. After living through it, learning from it, and using the experiences to your advantage, it’s easier to see the difference. This article is for those of you who may still be doubting or feeling lost with who you surround yourself with.

Real friends check on you. They catch up with you if you haven’t seen each other in a while. Real friends will go out of the way for you to make you feel better or just feel accepted. They’ll do anything for you because they care about you and your well-being. They listen, give advice, and are always there for you. You can talk about anything and everything, and they’ll respectfully listen with open ears. It might be hard to find these types of caring friends in certain atmospheres. You might not find real friends at the bar, at a frat party, or something similar; not saying that you can’t- it just might be a tad harder to do so. It completely depends on who you’re around. I’ve met my closest friends in class, at church, at a restaurant, in campus organizations, etc. I have too many to count off the top of my head, and that makes me very blessed. It wasn’t always like that for me though.

Fake friends pretend they care. They may listen to you rant, but they don’t really give you advice or hear what you’re saying; sometimes they dismiss what you said entirely. They stick around as long as they are getting something in return. I’ve had a lot of people up and leave my life without looking back, and it’s because they didn’t care about me as a real friend would. They probably talk about you behind your back, invite you to uncomfortable situations or parties, and they don’t care about your well-being at all. If you have trouble figuring out who’s who, I suggest this: Take a step back. Look at who you’re surrounded by. Distance yourself for a while to really figure it out. Those who really care will most likely check up on you saying, “Hey, how’s it going? I haven’t heard from you in a while” or “Hey do you wanna hang out sometime soon? I miss you.”

We’re busy people. We’re in college, have a job, have families, have friends and organizations; we have responsibilities to so much. Sometimes it’s hard for me to message people or hang out when I’m always on the go, but I do my best when I get free time at night or in the morning to message a few people that are on my mind and just say “Hey I know we haven’t talked in a while but you’ve been on my mind lately and I hope I can see you soon.” Sometimes it just takes people knowing that YOU care for it to be reciprocated, If you look at the relationships and situations for a few days or weeks, I think you’ll be able to tell who’s really there to support you, strengthen you, and want the very best out of life for you. Those people are out there, I promise. All you have to do is say “Hey” to spark a new friendship to life and see where it leads to!

I hope this has helped a little! If you still have questions and don’t know how to spot the difference yet, I found this great article that shows twelve different signs of being a fake friend.