*plops on the couch with popcorn and red vines*
*gets comfy and turns on Amazon Prime*
*opening scenes reflects upon my glas-
“ Oh! Well HELLO! He is so attractive! It’s official that’s who I’m in love with now” I charismatically inform my best friend, Noelle, who is sitting next to me as we begin to binge a new show, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. However, instead of receiving her usual humored yet supportive giggle, she gives me an odd look. I pause the show and turn to her.
“ What? What’s wrong?” I say anxiously.
She looks at me and cautiously explains, “ You won’t like him soon…”
A “HE CHEATED!” alarm began ringing throughout my mind. And he did. The love of my life cheated on his wife in first episode. I was devastated and I couldn’t get the thought that all boys end up cheating at some point out of my head. But this made me feel so yucky on the inside. Why did I automatically assume that he cheated just because my friend said I wouldn’t like him soon? He could of been a serial killer or a rapist or a criminal or something!
Then it came to me. I realized in almost all the films or television shows I had seen before, there is always that one male character who is gorgeous but we hate because he cheated. And the usual excuse tends to go a little something like this: “ Well, he had to cheat for both of them to realize the relationship wasn’t healthy or happy and they weren’t going to work out anyway. He just had too.”- random middle-age filmmaker.
I’m sorry but this concept of cheating, although I understand is still a prominent and serious problem, is not the only way for two people to understand that their relationship is unhealthy. It’s dated, overly produced, and sends a bad message to teens and young adults about how a relationship works. Moreover, it stereotypes men and creates an ignorant and weak cliché of women. Women are strong and intelligent, and have the ability to understand when their boyfriend or husband isn’t the one for them. Relationships are messy but using cheating as an excuse to avoid communication is sad. If you want to tell a story about cheating, do it, but don’t throw it into a story just to “solve” something missing in a couples breakup.
As I thought more and more about the messy portrayal, I began to realize what really was driving me insane; the fact that I automatically assumed it. As if it was subconscious, like I had been conditioned to assume it because of how many other films focused on it so much. So then, in my head, I created a kind of map tracing back through all the movies I had seen searching for other subconscious clichés I may have made.
Note: These subconscious clichés differ from regular clichés because we don’t realize we are calling them out. It’s not like the typical high school film with the sectioned off groups of themed people and mean girls or the Romeo and Juliet cliché or the good vs evil. Those are so plainly obvious that they have developed into cultural inside jokes in a way. We are used to calling them out because they never go away.
So, in addition to the aforementioned cliché, here a couple more for your thoughts:
The Need to Be Skinny to Be Considered Pretty or Loved
We see this one all the time. And due to recent releases such as Insatiable or Sierra Burgess is A Loser, it doesn’t seem like it’s going anywhere any time soon which is extremely heartbreaking. Media always seems to move two steps forward, one step back. It’s fantastic that retailers such as American Eagle have began featuring female and male models of all shapes, sizes, and colors but when clichés such as this one continue to appear in cinema and television audiences are left with mixed feelings. I classify this one as a subconscious cliché because the number of films that are trying to reverse its effects are much smaller in numbers than those that promote unhealthy expectations and lifestyles. I also consider it a subconscious cliché because until recently no one was really noticing how much we portray it in the entertainment industry.
A Woman’s Ability to Only Feel Confident When A Man Makes Her Feel So
Yet again, another storyline that makes its way into films and television and no one says anything about it. Most commonly seen in teen rom-coms or coming of age films, the idea that woman can only feel confident when a man takes interest in her or makes her feel so seriously hinders young woman. It sends the message that they need to care about what men think of them. We should instead be teaching young girls to feel confident simply because they are already amazing people. The focus needs to shift from teaching dependence to teaching empowerment. In She’s All That or in DUFF, the girl only gets her confidence or feels noticed when she is with a guy, especially one who tells her how to look. Growing up, young girls assume that Laney isn’t pretty or cool because of what she wears and what she likes to do but Laney is actually truly a cool and unique person before she meets Zach and before he takes her under his wing. Ultimately, there are far too many films that portray stories such as Laney’s and yet we never address it as a problem.
The Need for a Woman to Simply Have a Love Interest
The film industry somehow assumes that woman need boyfriends, husbands, love interests, or any form of romance to make a story compelling and interesting. Films such as Hunger Games, Ready Player One, Avengers: Age of Ultron, Baby Driver, Jurassic World, and many others feature pretty much useless love stories. It’s simply unnecessary. Katniss is a strong, great warrior. People can relate to her and feel pathos for her situation through her family, she in no way needs to be in a random love triangle. To me, this is a subconscious cliché because for the most part no one truly questions it. We tend to take it for the way it is. We’ve been conditioned to feel like there needs to be some form of romance in a story to be fully satisfied but that simply isn’t true. A woman fulfilling her dreams or overcoming a great challenge is satisfaction enough. Now, I’m not saying there should never be romance. I one hundred percent adore a good love story but don’t throw a random romance into a film or television series just to enhance a female character’s storyline.
The bottom line is all women are beautiful, independent, strong, intelligent, and empowering in real life, so we should be portraying the real us on the big screen as well!