In the first few months of our lives, we are raised to be masters of four common words; mama, dada, yes and no. These simple yet powerful words provide us with the things that any infant would find essential during their days of figuring out what the heck the world actually is. One “mama” and you find yourself in the warm embrace of your mother’s arms. Another “yes” will result in a third toaster oven waffle or a piece of candy because of your response when your dad asks if you played nice with the other kids. These words have shaped how we communicate and how we, in the end, get what we want. I have realized however, in recent years the word “no” has been given a not-so-positive connotation.
Currently, in my African American Studies class, I am learning about the fascinating idea of a social construct. For those of you who never even thought to put these two words together (me the first week of class), a social construct is something that we, as a society have created and follow to this day. These can be things like education or democracy, but they can also be topics like race or sexuality. It never occurred to me that the latter was something that we have created, but when you think about it, it actually is.
I bring this idea to our attention not simply to let you know that we could have avoided a grading system if we all just agreed that it was pointless, but rather, to prove that “no” is indeed a social construct. Not so much the word itself, but the ideology behind it. We as a society have agreed that the notoriety of no is negative because it results in turning things away from our attention and ultimately distancing ourselves from certain people or places.
As we all know, saying no, or in recent years “nah”, is something that everyone is capable of. However, I think people have become scared of the word and believe that using it as little as possible is the best way to maintain a flawless social status. Take this example: A friend invites you to a get together with a group of pals, but you’re not feeling up for it. You tell them no, and they automatically label you as anti social or thinking you’re “too good” for the group. This is where that idea of introversion or being a snob come into play. Just because you don’t want to do something doesn’t mean it’s not up to your standards, but most people haven’t quite figured that out yet. I think being able to say no is something that not a lot of people can do; so be one of those people who can. Being able to stand up for yourself and actually pursue what you want to pursue is a gift that a lot of us have yet to unwrap. By simply not doing what doesn’t feel comfortable, you are picking away at the corner of that shiny wrapping paper called choice.
Being able to say no to certain situations is a skill that is absolutely essential. The word holds a power that not a lot of other dictionary elements do. You don’t want to go out with that guy, say no. You don’t feel like getting a salad today, say no and you go get those fries, girl. And most importantly, if something doesn’t feel right to you, say no. You say no to all these things and your day is completely different (hopefully in a good way). Now I’m not saying that you can just go and give your professors the cold shoulder because you don’t particularly want to complete the homework.There are some things that we have to just suck up and do, like that 100 page reading assignment.
To sum it all up, don’t associate the word no as missing out on things or not being accepted by others. Instead, use it to do the things that you truly want to do. Be the fierce personality who can stand up for what they believe in and realize that it’s okay to say no sometimes. And if all else fails, just revert back to your kid like mindset and use the word to your advantage. In this wise words of miss Meghan Trainor, embrace your “nah to the ah to the no, no, no”.