How to Say “No”...and Mean it

No. A two letter adverb that is commonly used to express denial or refusal in response to a question or request. Sometimes this word is pretty simple to say, for example:

 

“Can I cheat off your test?”  No.

“Can you buy me front-row tickets to the next Beyonce concert?”  No

“Would you like pineapples on your pizza?” No, no and no.

 

You can even say it without uttering a sound:

 

 

So it should be pretty easy to say all the time...right?...No.

 

In reality we are always taught to say “yes” to new opportunities because if we decline who knows what we will miss out on. You do not want to regret saying “no” because you cannot go back and fix it.

 

We are also taught to say “yes” because we do not want to let anyone down, especially if they are close to us. That guilt that can almost eat you alive if you let down someone you love because you just had to say no. That recurring thought in your mind that says “Should I change my mind and say yes? I think I have to say yes. I’m probably the only one that can do it…”

I’m here to tell you that it’s okay to say no.

 

I was recently faced with a big decision and my first thought was “No, I don’t want to.” However, that changed when I realized that I was one of the few people that could do this. I thought about it for a long time. I was so stressed about it that it was the only thing I thought about for a few days ,I ate more than I usually do, and I even got a headache from thinking about it too much. I really really REALLY did not want to do it,,,but if I didn’t who would?  I asked my friend for advice on my situation and she said:

 

“Just say no.”

 

“Then who will if I don’t? I asked.

 

“That’s not your problem. If you don’t want to do it say no.”

 

 

And she is completely right. No one should be pressured into doing anything they do not want to ,and do not let anyone make you feel guilty for saying no. What helped me say no ( and continue  to say no) is by imagining the request was the most repulsive thing in the world (like putting in the milk before the cereal) ...then it was a lot easier to say no. Another thing that helped was by remembering the every “yes” is a commitment. A commitment is a huge promise that should not be broken easily. By saying yes you are entitled to complete everything you commit to ,and if you cannot do that...say no.

 

While this may be difficult (especially if you have to say no more than once) I can assure you it is worth it. The guilt you feel will go away and the people that you feel like you “let down” will get over it, and if they don’t...you don’t need them in your life anyways. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about a decision you make. Put yourself first, know your limits, and say no as many times as you would like