I’m going to have a moment of transparency. I just got out of a long term relationship. I’m a second semester sophomore here at LMU, so I’ve actually never been single during my time in college until now. In this last month I’ve learned a lot about myself, so I figured that I’d try to share the wealth in any way I could. Breakups are tough, but life afterwards doesn’t have to be. Here are some things that I’ve done that have really helped me stay positive.
Ask your friends for support
If your friends are actually your friends, they’ll want to support you in any way they can. For me, after I admitted to my friends that I was going to need some more good vibes around me that usual, they were quick to jump on the challenge. Whether it was just sitting with me and listening to me complain, giving me a shoulder to cry on, or posting a picture with me on Instagram with a cute caption, my friends were (and still are being) rockstars.
Go out (if that’s your thing)
I went out maybe 4 times total before my ex-boyfriend and I broke up, it just wasn’t my thing and I wasn’t super interested in meeting people. However, my friends have convinced me to go out a few more times and it’s been a great distraction. I’ve run into some of my favorite people, made new friends, and caught up with old classmates and it always uplifts my heart.
Have a movie night (points if it’s a musical and you sing along the whole time)
I definitely am only including this because my friends and I had a movie night recently, but honestly watching Mamma Mia with all my favorite gals is probably going to be one of my favorite memories from all of college.
Go to random events on your campus
To be honest, I got super lucky when it came to “random events on campus”. Ashley-freaking-I came to LMU the Wednesday after spring break and meeting her was 100% my peak
Detox from your phone
Okay…so I was definitely in a unique position when it came to my phone detox (I was in Guyana, South America for a week where I had to physically hand someone my phone for the duration of the trip), but staying away from the bad vibes and anxiety that my phone sometimes gives me was amazing. All my closest friends and family knew I was doing this, so there wasn’t any confusion when it came to me not responding. This is even better if your ex has been contacting you, posting a lot on social media, or anything of that nature. What you don’t see can’t hurt you! If you’re having a hard time giving up your phone, commit to not being on it during certain times (like in class, when you’re with your friends, or when you’re walking to class). I keep my phone in my backpack instead of my pocket so I can’t be lame and pretend like I don’t see people anymore. Saying hi to someone can brighten their day. You never know!
Buy a ticket to a cool band that’s playing by you (points if you lose your voice)
As of right now, I am sitting in a library with a lost voice because I saw Blink-182 last night. Nothing compares to jumping around and screaming your heart out.
Engulf yourself in your feminist values
STRONG WOMEN EMPOWER STRONG WOMEN! EMPOWER WOMEN THROUGH SISTERHOOD! LIVE AND LET LIVE! I am honestly so done with self-deprecating rhetoric, slut-shaming, and gossip. That’s so not my 2018 vibe.
Call your mom literally always (shoutout to my mom!)
Your mom is kind, smart, and important. Need I say more?
Get out and try to meet people
Meeting people is fun and the more you do it the less intimidating, awkward, and scary it will be! Small talks can be fun talks. And if you’re still not convinced, the more people you meet and know, the more people who you can say hi to walking through campus and the more Instagram followers you’ll have (if that’s your thing).
Take selfies (my life was forever changed when I found my good side and angles)
My roommate, Katie, is the greatest person to ever exist for so many reasons (I could write an article about why she is the greatest friend to everyone), but one reason is that she’ll take pictures of me when I awkwardly ask her to. Thank you, Katie!
Go to church (or bible study)! Even if you’re not religious! Yolo!
Personally, my faith is very important to me, so going to church and bible study is already something I do regularly. However, there’s something special about being able to relate to a verse from the bible. Remember: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Spread all your love to everyone
One of my favorite things to do is compliment people. I’m so serious. You like someone’s jacket? Ask them where it’s from. Does girl in your class always kill it with her makeup? Tell her. Do you appreciate someone you’re friends with? Spread your kindness. It goes far and it’ll come back to you.
Buy a cute new outfit
I’m guilty of this. In the last 2 weeks I’ve gotten 2 new dresses, a new blouse, new fun pants, and two new pairs of shoes. To be fair I really needed the shoes, but the rest of it just made me feel so good that I couldn’t pass it up. Look good, feel good, do good.
Apply for something new
Get involved! Being involved and giving 110% to everything I do is one of my favorite things to do. You’ll meet more people, learn more about yourself, and probably be a happier, more well-rounded person.
Join Her Campus!
Her Campus is full of amazing, empowered, and compassionate women who would love to love on you. If you’re looking for a community to uplift you, this is for you!
Break-ups are the worst. They mess with you in ways you didn’t think they would and they can be super hard to handle. Trust me, the initial break up is only step one when it comes to heartache and recovering. But also trust me when I say that everyday is a little easier and someday it might not hurt at all. Sending you my love, even if you’re not going through a breakup, if you’re in a relationship, or haven’t dated anyone at all!