Joining a sorority is super exciting. You get to join an organization that matches your values, supports you in your academic and professional goals, and you get to meet a ton of new, amazing women! While it is easy to get caught up in the idea of instant sisterhood and instant lifelong friendships, it is also important to remember that real relationships take time to form, even inside of sororities.
When you join a sorority, you gain hundreds of friends and sisters. But you don’t know all their names, you might not know any active members in your chapter, and you might not even know many people–if any–in your pledge class. If you don’t feel like you immediately have a ton of new close friends, that’s normal. Friendships take time, especially for those of us who take a little longer to truly be ourselves around people we don’t know well. It can feel like you are alone even if you are surrounded by the women in your chapter, but that feeling is temporary and will pass with time as you meet people and form relationships.
That being said, it is important to put yourself out there. The feeling of fomo or the “fear of missing out” is real. But the reality is there are quite a few other girls in your shoes who feel exactly the same way. Everyone in the sorority wants to meet you, to know you–they asked you to join, after all!–and all you have to do is reach out, or be receptive when another girl reaches out, and participate in all the activities that you can. You can think of joining a sorority like joining a new school: people don’t know you, and you have the opportunity to make amazing impressions and be completely yourself while making new friends. It is definitely a unique opportunity!
If you are feeling worried about the fact that you aren’t making friends quickly or you’re feeling a little out of place in your pledge class, you are not alone. Reach out and ask to grab coffee with an active member and I am sure they will tell you that their pledge class took time to become close. It is a process, not instantaneous. Just remember that you are there because you made positive impressions on the active members during recruitment, and they want to get to know you!